Sweet Sweet Television

Don't judge me.

Clin's Stories of 2009

TV ON DVD:

Battlestar Galactica- RIP you wonderful show.

Cranford- Great BBC miniseries. Judi Dench can do no wrong.

The Tudors Season 2- Less sex, more heads being lopped off.

Weeds Season 4- Great change up with the family moving from their Little Boxes. Nice cliffhanger ending.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 1- To introduce Jackie to it. Solid as ever.

Summer Heights High Season 1- They need to make a season 2 right now. Best show to come out of New Zealand since:
Flight of the Conchords Season 2- Looks like this is the last one. Enjoyed it while it lasted.

Long Way Down- Ewan MacGregor riding a motorcycle from the top of Scotland to the tip of South Africa.

Life on Mars- I haven't seen the American version but the BBC one is really good.

The Dollhouse (Seasons 1 and 2)- Interested idea- hard to pin down the tone.

Breaking Bad Season 1- Really great performance from the dad from Malcolm in the Middle.

United States of Tara- Arriving today on Netflix. I like Toni Collette though.

DVR/TV

Top Chef Las Vegas- Delicious

Project Runway LA- Okay

Real Housewives NJ- More table flipping!

Real Housewives NYC- Don't like Kelly. More Bethany.

Real Housewives Atlanta- Better in Season 1

Real Housewives OC- You're better off Jeana.

Lost- I miss Juliet.

Big Bang Theory- Sheldon rules

How I Met Your Mother- It's like Friends for the new decade

So You Think You Can Dance- I like you better in the summer

Glee- A+

My Life on the D List- Kathy is great

Flashforward- Needs to step it up

V- I hope I remember you in March

24- Jack was back and I liked the female president

The Amazing Race- Has won my heart.

Next Food Network Star/Next Iron Chef

American Idol- Better on DVR to fastforward boring results show. I think I'll miss Paula this season.

Modern Family- Brilliant

Better off Ted- Great writing

The Office- Still Great

Parks and Recreation- Gets better Fall of 09

30 Rock- Alec, Tina, Jack and Tracy= fun

Community- Has its moments

The Good Wife- Juliana is great- so are the plots.

The Soup- Summarizes everything else so I don't have to watch it.

What I Liked in 2009

Theatre

Cash On Delivery- (Hale WVC) Cause I was in it. They sanitized too much of it, but it was still a fun show with fun cast members.

All Shook Up- (Hale Orem)- Cause Jackie was really fun in it and a 3 friends were the director, choreographer and music director. Jackie looked great with a dead fox around her shoulders.

Curtains- (Hale WVC)- Great cast- great voices- ok script.

The Yellow Leaf- (Pioneer Theatre Company)- Ummm.... beautiful set?

Dial M for Murder- (Pioneer Theatre Company)- Fun mystery.

Miss Saigon- (Pioneer Theatre Company)- Great show (especially the leading lady as Kim).

A Chorus Line- (Pioneer Theatre Company)- My first time seeing it live- they were fantastic.

Is He Dead- (Pioneer Theatre Company)- Hilarious cast- made me want to direct it (again).

A Christmas Story- (Pioneer Theatre Company)- Cute.

Rumors- (Riverton High School)- Fun cast, fun set (to build).

Back to the 80's- (Riverton High School)- Awesome!

Charlotte's Web- (UVU)- Fun to go with Millie- nice director's concept that made the script better.

Children of Eden- (BYU)- Great singing and dancing- strange set and costume choices.

Thoroughly Modern Millie- (BYU)- Great singing and dancing- is it just me or is this show really long?

Wicked- (Broadway Touring Company)- This is time #4 for me. Great cast and they were really nice to my student afterwards.

Catch Me If You Can- (5th Avenue Theatre Seattle)- Fantastic- can't wait for this to go to Broadway. Aaron Tveit and Nobert Leo Butz were awesome.

God Of Carnage- (Broadway)- The whole cast was great, but Hope Davis was a great projectile vomiter and James Gandolphini was just funny.

***Our Town- (Off-Broadway)- Best show of 2009. I'm so glad we got to see David Cromer (the director) as the Stage Manager. A production that stays with you a LONG time.

Shrek- (Broadway)- Really fun show- would have liked to have taken the girls to it.

Next to Normal- (Broadway)- Very touching, powerful show. A backup show for our trip in 2010 with students.

The Norman Conquests- (Broadway)- So glad I did the marathon 3 shows in one day. Amazing cast, script and direction. Not gonna be done for a long time so I'm glad I saw it.

Les Miserables- (Riverton High School)- Awesome cast, crew and pit.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged- (Utah Shakespeare Festival)- Fun to run around on stage back and forth with the actors.

Tuesday's With Morrie- (Utah Shakespeare Festival)- Great cast- many sniffles from all around me (except the obnoxious girl next to me that kept texting and leaving the theatre).

Movies

I saw a lot- here are just a selected few:

The Princess and the Frog- Great classic Disney animation. Ellis only had to leave the theatre once to pee (and Jackie and her missed a great song) and she ate an entire large popcorn pretty much by herself. A-

Harry Potter and the 1/2 Blood Prince- Another one we saw in an actual theatre. Really good.

A-

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist- Great scene in the bus depot. A-

Religulous- Sucked. D-

Let the Right One In- Creepy- especially the ending scene at the pool. B+

Rachel Getting Married- Like watching a car crash/interesting. B

Milk- Great performances and an interesting story. B+

Slumdog Millionaire- Loved it. A

Vicky Christina Barcelona- Started a solid B and ended up with a solid C. Penelope is an A though.

Frozen River- Intense and very believable. A

The Reader- Conflicted. B-

Revolutionary Road- Kind of like MadMen- great performances (especially from the mental patient) B+

The Wrestler- I think Mickey was playing himself. B

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button- OK. B-

Coraline- LOVED this film. A

I Love You Man- I love you too. Paul Rudd is brilliant. A

Wendy and Lucy- Sad and touching. AState of Play- Interesting story. B+

Knowing- No Thanks. D

Appaloosa- This is not the film that will revive the western genre. C

Away We Go- I kind of liked it. Great soundtrack. B-

Drag Me to Hell- It was fun (possessed goats?). B

The Taking of Pellham 123- kind of silly. B-

Wallace and Gromit Loaf and Death- Genius. A

500 Days of Summer- More romantic comedies need Hall and Oates musical numbers. A-

The Proposal- a B to the film, an A for Betty White. More romantic comedies need Betty White.

The Cove- More tense than Duplicity with Clive Owen and Julia Roberts. A

The Hangover- An ok film (would have been worthless without Ed Helms who can do no wrong). B, but getting Jackie to watch the whole thing? A.

Public Enemies- should not have been this long and slow. Not with this cast and director. C

That's all I can remember right now. What I want to see over Christmas Break? Paranormal Activity, Sherlock Holmes, Avatar are at the top of my list. Next post- TV (cause this post is too long.).

Ho Ho Ho 2009

Right now, it looks like Santa overdosed on eggnog and vomited Christmas cheer all over the front room. The girls toys are everywhere (and migrating to all areas of the house). The girls only want to wear their Disney Princess nightgowns (even to church)- and, Christmas was basically (to quote their Uncle Tim)- an explosion of pink and princesses.

The best sight is looking into the new dollhouse and seeing Dollhouse "Dad" sitting at the kitchen table with Sleeping Beauty while Dollhouse "Mom" is driving the baby twins in the minivan with Snow White in the passenger seat. I'm assuming with her great house cleaning abilities that she's the nanny. I also guess that Dollhouse Mom and Dad have a very open relationship when it comes to fairy tale royalty.

Tonight we froze to death at Temple Square and we all had a dinner of hot chocolate, cookies and gourmet popcorn. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone. In memory of Christmas 2009, on Dec. 23rd, after watching 2 episodes of Leverage (new episodes start this Jan. 15th), and falling asleep during Dollhouse, Jackie announced she was going to bed. A few seconds later, she screams "Clin! Get up here now!" I go upstairs to find that Ellis is completely naked and has peed all over herself, the bed, blankets and pillow in her room (we're not sure on the sequence of events).

I had hidden some presents (gourmet popcorn to be placed out Christmas Eve morning on the sofa for the girls to discover, and Christmas Eve pajamas for all) in the laundry room for the night and told Jackie not to go in there. While I was bathing a screaming Ellis at midnight, Jackie comes into the bathroom and says "I went into the laundry room. I only saw some stuff." She then proceeded to go into Ellis's room, change the sheets while swearing and saying "I'm taking all of Christmas presents back. We overspent. I hate this mattress. I hate this bed. We don't need Christmas gifts! ARGH!!" (direct quotes). With Ellis's screaming waking up Millie, she stumbles into the bathroom, puts her hand on my shoulder and says "I love you Dad. It smells like pee."

After getting Ellis to smell like gingerbread, we put her back to bed- but unfortunately her blanket- THE blanket (the only one she HAS TO HAVE to sleep) is urine-soaked and in the washing machine (with the gourmet popcorn on top). She has to settle for another blanket which causes her to scream for an hour. During the screaming, Millie periodically yells from her room, "I can't sleep with Ellis screaming". Jackie periodically yells to Millie "Be quiet!" and I yell, "I'm calling Santa if you don't fall asleep RIGHT NOW."

So Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Memorable Gifts

• A fake Cabbage Patch Doll for Christmas sometime in the 80's. The head looked Cabbage-Patchy but the body was different. I think I liked it.


• Skelator's Castle (with a working drawbridge with sound effects). I think Battering Ram (whatever his name was) was included. Really cool. Somewhere around age 11 or 12. He-Man was awesome.


• A Sony Walkman. Around age 13 or 14. Perfect for those drives down to Orem in the back of a station wagon.


• An assorted box of chocolates. My sister Emily bought this for me at Pic-&-Save (or something like that). There was a reason it was only $3.00 (for about 100 chocolates). The centers of these chocolates contained colors and flavors not found in nature. I got sick after eating them. (I also remember giving my brother Nate a gumball machine that year with tons of gumballs in it. That afternoon he took a bath with it. The water caused all the color to melt off the gumballs turning the water grey. No more gumballs for Nate).


• On my mission, we went out as district to eat at Claim Jumper restaurant. Someone at a table by us bought our table an entire Motherlode Chocolate Cake (those of you that have eaten at Claim Jumper know that an entire cake could probably feed 20 people). Everyone was full to the point of barfing so me and my companion (Elder Wagstaff) took it home. It took us about 3 weeks to finish it (and even then we threw most of it away).


• My first Christmas on the mission, we were feeling sad on Christmas Eve so we went to 7-11, each bought a magazine (I think mine was People and my companion's was Sports Illustrated) and Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream. I then dyed my hair that night (a gift from friends). My companion confessed to the mission president later that week. I didn't bring it up.


• A mission companion (Elder Bunker) crocheted to relax. I joked to him to make me something for Christmas- and he made me a bright blue crocheted jockstrap. I used it as a plant holder in college.


• 10 years ago this Christmas, Jackie made me- by hand- a huge thick maroon quilt. It's very cozy- and Jackie always uses it downstairs when we're watching tv. I haven't gotten to use it for 5 years.


• Jackie got me The Art of Shaving badger-hair shaving brush and really nice shaving lotion. Unfortunantly (and fortunantly), I just got cast in Fiddler on the Roof at Hale Center Theatre so I'm not allowed to shave until April 10th, 2010.


• A piano. Although I'm the one that bought it, it was memorable. Especially when I had to use my sister to trick Jackie into getting out of the house.


• Yesterday during our ward Sacrament Christmas Program, while the choir was singing something about angels, my little angel (Millie) was on my lap. She got mad at me, threw her head back and one of her butterfly hair clips punctured my cheek. As a geyser of blood shot out of my face, Jackie motioned to me to go to the restroom. Now it looks like I have a huge zit on my cheek-bone. Millie is no longer allowed to wear her butterfly clips to church.
• Though this wasn't really a gift, when I was 16 we went as a family to look at the lights downtown at Temple Square. On our way out of the city, Nate (probably 10 years old)announced that he had to pee NOW. My dad pulled into Hardee's on 300 South (now Carl's Jr.). Nate ran out and then ran back really quick. We asked how he did it so fast and he replied that he didn't have time to go in- he just stood in front of the wall of windows and peed in the bushes out front. That story is a gift by itself.

I'm sure there are a lot more things- if you gave me a memorable gift write it in the comments section.

Things I Like (School)

• I like it when students are prepared for their classroom performances. That way I can give them more notes than, "memorize."


• I like it when students go to a theatrical production somewhere and tell other students to not climb over seats or put their feet on the chair in front of them.


• I like it when students say that they are so excited for our New York trip that if they think about it too much they can't sleep.


• I like it when one of my drama club officers who works at In-&-Out burger brings me 2 Double-Doubles before the restaurant is open to the public.


• I like it when I can send my musical theatre students into the auditorium to rehearse without me and I go in to find them actually rehearsing.


• I like that Millie can attend pre-school at my school, meet Santa Claus there and tell him that what she wants for Christmas is "a secret."


• I like it when Film Studies student turn their papers in early- and when they all write on different movies and not just Forrest Gump.


• I like it when students say on their quiz on the film Tootsie that the main social issue in the film is NOT cross dressing.


• I like watching our school Improvisation Team perform with Laughing Stock for a charity performance. Very funny to watch a student pretend he has no bones.


• I like reading students play critiques- especially when they don't like the show.


• I like it when Theatre 1 students, after the voice and diction unit, call me Mr. EaTon- with a T.


• I like it when our musical makes enough money to buy another microphone.


• I like that I only ended up with 1 negative letter about Les Miserables (the letter wanted to know why I didn't do the high school version of the show- I'll take it as a compliment that they thought I did the Broadway version).


• I like it that Millie and Ellis feel comfortable enough around the MDT students to go up to them and a: demand to be played with or b: sit on their laps without warning.


• I think I like it when 3 students and 1 alumni are with me at callbacks for Hale Center Theatre's Fiddler on the Roof.
• I like it when students get nervous about auditions (as long as I know they're prepared).
• I like it when my students work with college professors, choreographers or professionals and do not embarrass myself, themselves or the school.


• I LOVE my fellow faculty (esp. performing arts- but Brent Cox in Yearbook knows he is an honorary member of the Performing Arts Faculty- and his wife Amanda too) and staff. It's why I'm staying at Riverton instead of Herriman (that and the fact that I now have a music library worth over $4000...)

What I've Been Up To...

So though I'm very excited to see this over Christmas Break, this is what I"ve been up to:

Directed Les Miserables at the school. They (the students) did great and we sold out (1315 seats) on Monday night- which was a fun way to close. It was great that my parents and inlaws (and lots of other people) came. What makes me laugh is that I've gotten letters from offended patrons for the following shows: Ten Little Indians (brandy drinking), Anything Goes (costumes and language), My Music, Dance, Theatre revues, Once Upon a Mattress (pregnant out of wedlock), and others--but nothing on Les Miserables.

What I've been watching (TV): Amazing Race, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Top Chef, Modern Family, The Good Wife, Glee, The Office, 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation.

What I've been watching (movies): Dollhouse (Season 1), Food Inc. (interesting to watch after Thanksgiving dinner...), Wallace & Gromit (Loaf and Death- great), Lost in Austen (never-ending), Little Dorrit (great!), The Taking of Pellam 123 (OK...) and other sad documentaries.

In the meantime, I'm taking students to: Children of Eden (at BYU), A Christmas Story (at PTC) and I just bought tickets to the tour of Avenue Q- nothing says Merry Christmas like full frontal puppet nudity.

Plans for the Week

So...

Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men?

Do you know any lovely ladies? Master of the homes? Comforters? Philosophers? Cunning little brains? Regular Voltaires?

Have you dreamed any dreams of days gone by?

If so, come this Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Monday to Riverton High School's production of Les Miserables: School Edition (7:00pm). Fear not- school edition just means it's been trimmed from 3 hours to 2 hours and 40 minutes. All the good stuff is still there (Lovely Ladies, Master of the House, lots of tenors singing in falsetto, Fantine still croaks...). If I do say so myself, the (huge) cast does a great job, the orchestra is coming along (it's always touch and go with violins and horns) and my student technicians sat outside in a snow storm on Saturday to await an overnight delivery of a spotlight lamp that had exploded the previous day- that's dedication.

Tickets are $7 for students and seniors and $8 for adults (college age and above). That works out to about $.05-$.07 a minute! If you don't like musicals, come for the REALLY good cookies we're selling at intermission. We do use haze, fog and gunshots- so bring the babies and infirm. It'll be a fun night!

You Know the Musical You're Directing is About to Open When...

• You wake up at 5:00am not being able to get Master of the House off of rotation in your head. The only song that will bump it is Don't Be Tardy for the Party from The Real Housewives Atlanta.


• Your 2 and 4 year old dance around the house (and probably Primary) also singing Master of the House. I think they only know that phrase... so far...


• You spend 2 hours trying to find a short and long haired wig that's the EXACT SAME COLOR- you order it and spend a lot of money having it overnighted- then you find out it's on back order. You then spend another 2 hours trying to find 2 other wigs- get them ordered- only to find out they won't arrive until after opening night. You decide to weave 2 wigs by hand from the hair you have pulled out of your own head.


• You get an anonymous letter from a parent (forwarded to you from the principal) that is furious because you made a sick student come to rehearsal (a lead that had to sing/mouth her words for the first time with the orchestra pit) for 30 minutes (and you made sure she touched and spoke to no-one)- and it turns out she's sick from being lactose intolerant. The letter states that the principal should "deal with me".


• You have to speak to 3 different boys about the importance of wearing deodorant (their poor dance partners came up and begged me to do it. I have no qualms about it. I love giving the deodorant/antiperspirant talk).


• You realize you just spent 10 minutes talking about microphone packs with the girls in the cast and you've said the words "bra straps" about 15 times.


• You have to remind everyone that wearing underwear is not "optional" for this production (or any other at Riverton High School).


• You spend 30 minutes adjusting corpses on the barricade for optimal effect. You also have to make 2 boys hold their breath for 8 seconds when their faces pass in front of the fog machine.


• You have to explain to administration that if the fire alarm goes off, it's probably because of the aforementioned fog machine.


• That if the halls around the auditorium spell funny, it's because the haze machine you rented had fluid in it from a Halloween party at the E Center that wasn't flushed out yet. Or it's the boys not wearing deodorant.

The Lion King

So this past week, everything was about The Lion King.

Millie discovered that she could sit throughout the entire movie without getting scared- and then she discovered the Broadway musical soundtrack. She learned that she could make herself weep during "quiet time" by listening to the song Shadowlands 100 times in a row and that she and Ellis could perform a beautiful pas de duex to Can You Feel the Love Tonight.

Since the Broadway tour of The Lion King is coming to Salt Lake City in August, I ordered a bunch of tickets last July for my school (faculty and students). Since I ordered so many tickets, I was invited to The Lion King Musical Cocktail Party last Monday. Since I got to bring guests, I brought Jackie and Brent and Amanda Cox from the high school. None of us had ever been to a cocktail party before so here's my thoughts (I hope Jackie, Brent and Amanda will leave comments if I left anything out):

• We arrived to the Rose Wagner Theatre and they had it decked out with food on three levels, an open bar and servers circulating the area. I think they were hoping people would get pretty loose so they could open their wallets and order tons of Lion King tickets for next summer. I already purchased my tickets so I wasn't falling for their ruse. But in using the facilities, Amanda discovered a lonely bartender stuck by the bathrooms that became our go-to guy for getting multiple Cokes and Diet Cokes without standing in a line.


• They flew in 3 leads (Rafeeki, Simba and Nala) from the Las Vegas production to perform 4 numbers for us. They also brought in members of a local Baptist church choir to sing and sway- with the minus track.


• One of Disney's head honchos in the theatre department talked about Disney on Broadway- and made a man shriek with excitement behind me when he lead us to believe that Julie Taymore (the director of The Lion King who is way too busy trying to save the new Spiderman musical to fly out to Utah to pimp her show) was backstage ready to answer questions. She spoke to us from a video filmed over 10 years ago.

• The poor Broadway Across America Salt Lake spokesperson was REALLY NERVOUS. I thought he was going to pass out and forget his own name as he welcomed us. I felt bad for him.


• They were serving 3 kinds of shrimp: cocktail, tomatillo and "gin". I was tempted to get the gin kind (it was offered) but I refrained. They also served really good potato balls. And curry things.


• Tiramisu tastes good with The Lion King trademark dusted in gold on top.


• The goodie bags were great. They included: A plush doll (retail $16-20) of either Simba (mine), Scar (Jackie and Amanda), Puumba (Brent), the Broadway soundtrack, the Broadway souvenir program ($20), a DVD featuring Rosie O'Donnel screaming and weeping about how much she loves the show (Ellis and Millie watch it every moment they get).


• Somewhat unrelated, today during the sacrament portion of our meeting, Ellis climbed into Jackie's lap and began singing "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" at the top of her lungs. If she had waited just 10 minutes, it would have been a beautiful testimony to share with the congregation.

Overall, it was fun to go to- but it seemed odd to ask us to buy tickets when most of us got invited because we had already purchased A LOT of tickets to begin with. It was good to learn that if you happen to drop a bunch of shrimp into a puddle of gin, you can still eat them- they'll be alright.

What I'm Excited to Read

Elna Baker is a FUNNY girl.

This story becomes WET YOUR PANTS FUNNY at 8 minutes. It's worth it.

Fall Theatre

Being a high school drama teacher, I get to see a lot of shows. Here are some memorable ones from the past 4 weeks:
Charlotte's Web- I took Millie down to Utah Valley University to see their inaugural show in there brand new children's theatre. I also wanted to go see former Riverton students playing Fern and Fern's mom. The show (directed by the great Christopher Clark), was fantastic with the 2 actors manipulating and voicing puppets for all of the animals. It was great- and Millie loved it. They had a great educational outreach program for the all the kids to do activities based on the show. Millie's favorite part was petting the Charlotte puppet on our way out.
A Chorus Line- we took 40 students up to see the educational matinee of A Chorus Line at Pioneer Theatre Company. I was excited because I had never seen it on stage (and the movie is horrible). We were in the first 4 rows and it was a fantastic show. The dancing was great and it was fun reading student play critiques about how there wasn't a set- but there didn't need to be. It'll be fun referencing the show in Musical Theatre class and why the show was so revolutionary in the 70's when it first was on Broadway.
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged- This show is always a favorite- I show the film version in Theatre 3- and the production at the Utah Shakespearean Festival did not disappoint. Even Jackie chuckled a little- which is usually pants-wettingly funny for me. I felt a little exposed in my seat because it was sticking out from everyone else- so needless to say, I got pulled up on stage and was made to run all around during the show. Jackie was greatly concerned for the state of my britches- she says it was her prayers alone that made them stay up as I ran around, but I would have been aware of any potential "wardrobe malfunction" and was completely in control of the whole situation. The 3 actors had great timing and it was a fantastic show.


Tuesday's With Morrie- All I knew about this show was that Jackie had to read the book for a class at the U and she hated Mitch- she thought he made all his money off of Morrie. I have to say the play production at The Utah Shakespeare Festival was pretty powerful and everyone from our school was weeping (sometimes hilariously so). Jackie immediately lined everyone up for pictures after that show to forever capture their tear stained faces.
Curtains- This was a show that a lot of people went to in New York of 2008- but Jackie and I didn't so we used my two free comps (from doing Cash on Delivery in Jan.) and went. It was really fun- and a lot of friends were in the cast and they were great. It was a fun production- but I wish that Jackie was cast as Carmen- she could play that part really well (although Camille was fantastic).

Shakespeare in Fall

So last week, I took 49 students (and 5 chaperones) down to Cedar City, Utah to compete in the Utah High School Shakespeare Competition. We had lots of fun, saw great shows (another post later), cringed in horror while Jackie sang Ice Ice Baby to everyone on the bus and had a student take 2nd in monologues, 1st in costuming, 2nd (as a team) in the technical olympics, 1st in the dance duo and 2nd in dance ensemble. But that's not what the Shakespeare Competition is about. Here are memories (in no particular order) I have:

• In 1992 going and competing in scenes with Danny Jewell and Nathan Culmer with a scene from The Tempest. We took first, all got scholarships to SUU and none of us accepted them. I chipped Danny's front tooth in our 3rd round with my bottle. Sabra Gertsch and Kirt Bateman were so mad because they took 2nd and worked about 4 months on their scene- while we whipped it together (with help from John Adams) in 2 days.


• That same year, waking up in the middle of the night hearing Alexis Baigue vomiting somewhere in the hotel room. I think it was the tub or the sink. It then woke up Nathan Longhurst and Kirt Bateman. Alexis kept apologizing to us between heaves. Then we all decided to incorporate vomiting into the lines of King Lear. I think it made for a stronger scene.


• Wearing a costume in 1991 in monologues and seeing THAT EXACT SAME COSTUME in 2006 in West Jordan High School's ensemble. At least the tights were different.


• Having my mom dye my tights a beautiful powder blue for my monologue in 1991.


• Going down as a student teacher in 1999. We had our crazy 85 year old, chain smoking bus driver Clay. He takes off from a dance leaving Shawnda Moss, Bradley Moss and myself behind. Shawnda is fuming as we walk back to the hotel. I tell her I'll talk to him while she chews out the students for leaving on a bus without a chaperone on it. I knock on the door and he opens it smoking a cigarette while wearing a white wife beater- AND NO PANTS OR UNDERWEAR. I had not been trained for this at BYU. I asked him why he left the school with no adults on the bus and he replied, "You weren't there." I found this perfectly valid and ran away so he could close his door. The whole bus ride back, I couldn't look at him without turning red. Shawnda had him fired.


• From 2009, having the manager of the hotel call me to tell me "I'm so sorry- but your students broke two of our beds." What I found funny was he kept apologizing- like the beds should have been made to withstand four 17 year olds jumping on them.


• Running in pouring rain with dance company in 2007 trying to figure out where the dance competition was taking place.


• Going to the coaches reception one time and listening (and watching) a drama teacher get drunker and drunker until all he kept repeating was "Shakespeare's all about the f***ing". He said this about 25 times. I just kept nodding and sipped my Sprite.


• Performing our western style Taming of the Shrew in front of everyone at the awards ceremony.


• Watching Neal Johnson with his middle school students following him around like lemmings- and following him even more closely when he was mean to them. In fact, just being around Neal Johnson and listening to his stories makes the Shakespeare Competition worth it every year. (Especially the year his student accidentally stabbed another student in the back with a plastic dagger in the middle of a performance in front of all the judges).


• Being pulled up on stage in 2009 for The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged and made to run back and forth across the stage. Jackie swore my pants were going to fall down in front of everyone, but they were firmly cinched across my waist.

Lies

So this morning I realized I was out of deodorant/antiperspirant. This will not do on a day I have parent teacher conferences. So, I borrowed my wife's. I thought it would be fine because it was labeled unscented. That is a lie. Every so often, I caught a whiff of honeysuckle with a hint of tulip- and after looking around my immediate personal space, I realized it was me. So, either Secret "unscented" is a lie, or when mixed with my particular pheromones, I smell like Temple Square in April.

Unrelated topic: 2 moments of laugher till I cried :When the baby was presented in tonight's episode of Modern Family, and the footbal team in Glee performing Single Ladies on the field. Hulu them immediately. They were great.

Public Confession

So have you ever publicly confessed to something kind of embarrassing? Thanksgiving Dinner? Testimony meeting? Well, this woman in Texas went to a school board meeting to give her two cents about teaching abstinence in schools... and makes a confession to everyone- only to have it turn out that the abstinence meeting was the day before- and that this school board meeting was on alcohol awareness. A special thanks to Christopher Clark for tweeting this to my attention.

Autumn

There's a nip in the air and the sun is setting earlier- it's the time of year I love the most:
Fall TV Season!!
I post the following without shame or embarrassment. The reason we have a DVR is so we can record everything we want and watch it when there is nothing on- or- watch it later so that a 60 minute show becomes 40 min. After having a DVR for a bit, it's weird actually watching TV somewhere where you have to watch commercials (Mom and Dad...). It's very 2001.
Here is the Eaton Family's 2009 Fall DVR schedule. A * means this is a brand new show (Not counting Word World, Charlie and Lola, and Yo Gabba Gabba for the girls. Those are all a given):
Sunday
60 Minutes (Jackie likes cranky Andy Rooney- and what's nice is they summarize all their stories before it even begins so you know if it's worth watching).
Mad Men- It's like the musical How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, but sad.
The Amazing Race- We love our Phil and his raised eyebrow.
Monday
How I Met Your Mother- we've watched it from the beginning, but it gets funnier and funnier. It's like Friends- but more random.
The Big Bang Theory- This show would be ok- except Jim Parson's portrayal of the scientist Sheldon takes it to genius level. He deserves the Emmy Award tonight.

The Rachel Zoe Project- A Bravo reality show that follows professional stylist Rachel Zoe around. It's kind of dysfunctional but entertaining.
Tuesday
*V- I remember watching this miniseries when I was little in Ohio. I'll give it a chance (plus it has the actress who plays Juliet on Lost in it so it can't be that bad).
*The Good Wife- Could turn into another court case of the week show, but it looks intriguing.
So You Think You Can Dance- Part of me likes this show in the summer because it gives some new television when everything else is re-runs, but Jackie and I are hooked on this show.
Wednesday
*Glee- So far my favorite new show of the year.
*Modern Family- So far critics have compared it to Arrested Development- which is pretty lofty, but it stars Jesse Tyler Fergeson (who Jackie and I like from the Broadway musical 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee) so we're game.

*Cougartown- This show is for Jackie. I'm not sure why.
Top Chef Las Vegas- Still amazing challenges with great food.
Thursday
This night puts the DVR into overdrive.
Real Housewives Atlanta- We love our NeNe.
Project Runway- We also love our Heidi.
*Flashforward- I hope it's like Lost and not like Heroes.
The Office- Can't miss tv.
Parks and Recreation- Already like it better than last year (with the episode about the gay penguins).
*Community- Joel McHale is great, but we already love the Indian guy who has pop culture Asperger's Syndrome. Plus Chevy Chase as a grouchy old man.
30 Rock- Kenneth is going to go on strike this season!
Fringe- We didn't watch Season 1 until the early summer- and we loved it. Each episode got better and better. JJ Abrams can do no wrong.
Friday
The Soup- We don't need to watch America's Next Top Model when Joel McHale does it for us.
Dollhouse- We're getting Season 1 on Netflix- then we'll watch this.
(We'll also watch Supernanny if we stumble across it).

Saturday is Netflix or catch up on shows (we still have the last season of Burn Notice and Leverage to catch up on!). You are all invited over for fall tv viewing parties. Just bring the chips and salsa (or pork rinds for Jackie).

For you Sound of Music fans...

Those of you familiar with Improv Everywhere- this is not them. But it's just as good. Filmed with over 200 dancers in Central Station in Belgium- it was used to promote a tv show connected to The Sound of Music. This is what happens in my head every morning.

Turning 34

So far, my 34th year on this planet is pretty good.

Since my birthday was on a Sunday, Jackie and I got a sitter on Saturday. Off we went to the City of Salt Lake to frolic and play.

The day began with a trip to the Utah School of Massage Therapy. There was a huge wait so we put in our names and we were off to a matinee of the great film (500) Days of Summer. Since it was my birthday weekend, Jackie participated in carbs by sharing a popcorn with me at the theatre.

The film was great (and had a great soundtrack too).

After that, it was back for hour long massages. We then went and had a four course dinner at The Melting Pot- a fondue restaurant. We got the 4 Cheese fondue (with garlic and pesto) that we ate with bread, vegetables and apple slices. Then we got our salad with tomatoes, mozzarella and heavy basalmic vinegar. After that, we ate the oil based main course- which was a variety of shrimp, chicken, sirloin, ravioli and vegetables that we dipped in a variety of batters and dipping sauces. We finished off our meal with the cookies and cream chocolate fondue which came with cheesecake, strawberries, rice crispy treats, bananas and pound cake for dipping.

After that, we went home, got the girls, went to Smith's, got mistaken for a homeless family (by a nice older lady behind us in line that felt bad for Millie because I was not letting her get any Mike-n-Ikes- and because Millie and Ellis looked like urchins out of a Dickens novel).

We then got home and watched a long French film called I've Loved You So Long.

The next day (my actual birthday) began with a fun trip to Priesthood Executive Committee at 8:00am. Followed by church where Millie had a melt down in Sacrament Meeting. After church, Jackie allowed me to have a nice long nap followed by my favorite meal- Thanksgiving dinner- shared with my parents and my brother Tim.

My presents were a case of Mexican Coke (the drink- not the powder) and an advertisement for a LG 50" plasma tv. This was a good present because I've owned our old tv since 1998 and the picture was starting to turn permanantly pink. It was also a surprise because if you've ever met Jackie, you know that purchasing a birthday present like this goes against everything in her DNA- Jackie had purchased it two days previously (they didn't have any in stock)- so we were off on Labor Day to pick it up- along with a new sofa set for the downstairs family room. We continued my birthday celebration on Labor Day by eating breakfast at the Original Pancake House in Sugarhouse- where the girls feasted on berries and cream and Ellis would only eat in Jackie's lap.

All in all, a great birthday- even when we discovered that the sofa set in our family room only allows 4 inches for someone to get past it to get around the basement, it's the perfect accompaniment to the 50" plasma. And the new tv stand that took me and Jackie 5 hours to put together. Everyone's invited over to our house to watch Top Chef in all its 50" glory.

Back to School

This clip has nothing to do with school starting- it's just freakin unbelievable. Whether you like barbershop, The Music Man or choir- if you watch this all the way through it will blow your mind.

The Countdown Begins

Starting next Monday (August 24th) through Wednesday, September 30th, you can put down your deposit for our New York City 2010 trip. The dates are June 8th-June 14th 2010. The minimum deposit is $300 (but you can put down more) and if you don't want to turn it in to me, or mail it to Bob Guymon at Thomas Travel, you can call Thomas Travel and put down the deposit with a credit or debit card (be sure to say it's for the Eaton Theatre Group). For the deposit ONLY, Thomas Travel won't charge you extra for a credit card transaction (they will for future payments). You can also bring in the deposit to Riverton High School and I will mail it in for you (and I will make you fill out a registration form so we get the correct info for the plane ticket). The cost for 4 in a room is $1850- and you can work out your own payments with Bob at Thomas Travel as long as you are PAID OFF IN FULL by April 30th, 2010.

With the deposit we are securing our hotel (Hampton Inn Times Square North) and purchasing tickets for Billy Elliot, The Addams Family, and Spiderman (if it's still happening). So donate that plasma, sell some stuff on Ebay or collect on an inheritance because we want you to come!

Bob Guymon for Eaton Theatre Group

Thomas Travel
535 E. 4500 S.
Suite D-200
SLC, UT 84107

August Update

So, we survived our road trip in our new minivan to Oregon and back. No one vomited or wet themselves (in the car at least) and, other then Jackie driving 45 minutes in the wrong direction on the freeway, we made good time.
Here are some highlights from the trip:

• Going to Ray's favorite Thai food restaurant and eating really good curry.
• Seeing the new Harry Potter movie with Bryan.
• Having Millie become attached to a doll that whose head spins- each with a different face. I call it the Satan doll, but she loves it.
• Jackie having to stop every 45 minutes for a toilet on the way home.
• Eating at the grossest Jack in the Box ever in Burley, Idaho. When we went in, there was a note on the door that said they were out of 12 different menu items (including burger patties).
• Getting donuts at VooDoo Donuts.
• Geting confused playing Munchkin with family members.
• Millie and Ellis playing in the downtown fountain with cousins (and random strangers)
• Eating streetfood in Portland
• Literally walking into our house, turning on the lights and having a bishopric member call us to speak in sacrament meeting the following Sunday. We think someone was watching the house.
• Going to Seattle with Greg and Judy to see this:

Great performances- definately something to catch.

In celebration of Hale summer classes ending, I share this clip which combines 2 of my favorite things: Musical Theatre and Folk Singers from New Zealand:

Road Trip 2009

So we bought a big blue Toyota Sienna minivan- and tomorrow morning, we're taking it on it's first roadtrip. We are off to Portland Oregon to stay with Jackie's folks. Jackie parents are also being nice enough to watch the girls overnight so Jackie and myself (and our sister and brother-in-law) can go up to Seattle to see this:


I'm sure we'll have lots of stories afterward- stay tuned!

My Musical Next Year

We're found a winner for my musical theatre class next year:



If you want to see the complete musical Mr. G writes (about himself) go here.

July in New York (Part 5)

So Saturday morning, I skipped the closing session of the conference (it was just a chat back about Next to Normal) instead, wandered around looking for a good breakfast place on the Upper West Side. Finally, after wandering a bit, we just popped into a deli, grabbed a bacon, egg and cheese bagel and ate them while looking at art being sold on the street next to the Met Museum.

Both of us had tickets to The Norman Conquests: Table Manners which began at 11:30am. Around 11:00 (still up by the museum) we decided we should go- and- being stupid- decided to hoof it all the way to 51st street.

We made it to The Circle in the Square Theatre just in time- reeking of sweat (and hiding our sodas in our bags). Table Manners was hilarious- but Jackie was nervous because she had tickets to 9 to 5 at 2:00pm- and Table Manners got out at 1:50pm. Jackie ran away to her next show while I had Thai food and a cookie from Amy's Bread to tide me over for the next Norman Conquests show: Living Together. I was supposed to see Billy Elliott with the conference- but since I already had seen it, I sold it to a lady at the conference.

The Norman Conquests is a trilogy of plays that involve 3 couples- the plays take place over a weekend in July- all at various times. You can see each individually and have a great time OR, you can do what I did, see all 3 and witness playwright Alan Ayckbourn's genius at having one play take place in the dining room, one play take place in the living room and one play take place in the garden. It is a comedy- and it's structured brilliantly. This production was produced by Kevin Spacey at the Old Vic in London- and the entire cast came over from London to do it on Broadway.

After Living Together I met up with Jackie for dinner at the Stage Deli- it's famous and expensive. We've done it once, now we don't have to do it again (I like Carnegie Deli better for their cheesecake and a bowl of pickles).

After dinner, I went back to catch the final play Round and Round the Garden. All of these plays were directed by the same director as God of Carnage- and Boeing-Boeing which I had taken our group to in 2008. The Norman plays were even harder to direct because they were in the round.

After Round (all 3 plays were hilarious by the way- and if you're in NYC this next week, see them cause they close on Saturday) I felt bad for the actors doing 3 plays in a row in one day- but happy I got to see it. Jackie had gone to see the Pulitzer Prize winning play Ruined at the Manhattan Theatre Company. It started to rain as we walked to Magnolia Bakery (now at Rockefeller Center) to get some cupcakes.

It was a short night's rest because we had to be at JFK by 5:00am for Jackie's flight. We checked out at 4:30am, took a cab to JFK- Jackie's flight landed in SLC at 10:30am and mine landed at 12:30pm. Our whirlwind trip to NYC in July of 2009 was over- and it was great.

You too can have your own adventure in New York with me and Jackie- just put in your deposit before Oct. 1st to come with us June 8th-14th 2010!

July in New York (Part 4)

Friday morning, I got to sleep in while Jackie awoke at 5:00am. I already had my tickets for the musical Next to Normal and getting a TKTS ticket wasn't likely so we had found out that you could get a $25 ticket through a lottery that the theatre held every day. The first people in line could buy 2 tickets for $25 each- and the line forms early. So, off Jackie went with a book and a blanket.

While Jackie sat in front of a Broadway theatre with strangers (and a bagel with cream cheese), I headed off to a great breakfast place called Good Enough to Eat on the Upper West Side. I enjoyed my eggs and grapefruit juice while I listened to two Columbia students talk about how they tried to get 12th Night in Central park tickets at 5:30am- only to find the line was too long.

I took the subway down to say hi to Jackie and then it was back to the Time Warner Center for Day #2 of the conference. I arrived early because this session was all about the new Julie Taymor (The Lion King) musical Spiderman. We were meeting the musical director and the assistant set designer. As we were ushered in, we had to turn our cell phones off and put away all cameras. They played two songs from the show- and if I had doubts before, they were gone after those songs. The music is written by Bono and The Edge of U2 and the set is going to be unlike anything you've ever seen on a Broadway stage. They are spending 50 Million on this show and 40 Million is going to be the set. They told us Spiderman doesn't sing (let alone talk) and that all of their casting was done- There will be 3 Spiderman's- each with a different skill set (swinging, fighting, etc), the songs sound like good U2 stadium anthems- that still fit the characters of the show and the orchestra will be put into 2 rooms above the stage because the Chrysler Building is going to come out of the pit. It's going to be something amazing and I'm trying to make it the 1st show we see in NYC in June (again... come with us...)

We met 2 of the people involved with the short lived, but hilarious, Broadway musical Title of Show. They took us through a writing exercise that was based on their song Die Vampire Die- it was a great session with several teachers having moments of catharsis all over the place. I however was more concerned with meeting Jackie for lunch (with my cousin Allison- who just moved to Brooklyn with her husband Peter) at a SWANKY restaurant called Nougatine. It is honestly one of the top restaurants in the United States- not just New York- and they have a special $24 3-course lunch.

I got there just in time to have a delicious lunch of pea soup, steak and a strawberry tart. After that, is was back to the conference for an educator's workshop from Music Theatre International about their new products and then we got to talk to Tom Kitt, the composer of the show we were seeing that evening Next To Normal. I had owned the soundtrack for a while (so I know the secret in the show), but it was great to have him play some songs- and to hear him talk about his next project of being hired by GreenDay to bring American Idiot to life on stage. After that, we talked to Walter Bobbie (famous Broadway actor and director- most famous for the current 14 year running revival of Chicago). The best part of his session was him talking about the producers forcing him to put Melanie Griffith in as Roxie- and how she was a triple threat- she couldn't sing, dance or act--but she brought home the message of Chicago with extra clarity- that someone could get away with murder. He also really liked working with Usher in the show and that he could do all of the original choreography.

After the conference, Jackie was passed out from her early morning at Next to Normal so I went to the Drama Bookstore on 40th to get a few new scripts- and 2 hot dogs and a papaya juice (on 9th and 41st).

Jackie and I met up at Next to Normal- which is a fantastic show. It was emotional for everyone in the audience (the show deals with a mother who is struggling with severe emotional problems and the effect it has on her family)- and we had a great chat back with the cast afterwards. Alice Ripley deserved her Tony Award for Best Actress.

After that, Jackie and I were looking for food along 9th Avenue and discovered an Israeli restaurant. After eating my spicy goat, I tucked myself into bed with a slice of blueberry cheesecake and Joel McHale on The Soup.

July in New York (Part 3)

Thursday morning my conference began and I wanted to get over to Lincoln Center early to scope out the room arrangement. I left Jackie (still unconscious in the bed) and went over to the Time Warner Center at Columbus Circle.

Last October, Jackie and I had discovered chef Thomas Keller's bakery Bouchon Bakery on the 4th floor there and I was excited to have one of his creations. They didn't open until 8:00am so I watched lots of college interns set up the kickoff for New York City Restaurant Week. Lot's of co-ed's were being sent all over the city wearing blue wigs and advertising free samples from some of NYC's top 6 restaurants- and the cast of Hair would be there at lunch time to sing. I texted Jackie that she should meet me at the Time Warner Center at noon to get tickets (they were free) and we would have a free, gourmet lunch together (with half of Manhattan).

After finishing my breakfast, I went and took the elevators all the way up to the top of Jazz at Lincoln Center. The nice elevator operator told me that the most expensive condo in the United States was at the top of the Time Warner building- and it was 58 million dollars. She told me he had his own elevator and entrance.

The conference started off great with 2 guest lecturers from Julliard. We did lots of fun "bonding exercises" and then it was off to lunch.

The 3rd floor landing of the Time Warner Center had turned into a madhouse. Jackie had gotten there early and had already gotten tickets for the food. We waited in line after line to try bite-sized samples of 5 star restaurants. Coke was there passing out free mini-bottles of Coke products. The cast of Hair was there, acting all hairy. It was crazy and fun. Jackie took off early to go on a walking tour to revolutionary NYC and I retreated from the restaurant madness into Borders.

The afternoon session of the conference was great. We talked to actors from The Little Mermaid, Jersey Boys, Avenue Q, and Billy Elliott. We had seen one of the actresses in an amazing production of Sweeney Todd (she played Pirelli) with Patti Lupone. After the actor chatback, we met with composer Jeanine Tesori who talked about writing Shrek, Caroline or Change and Thoroughly Modern Millie. She was funny and smart- and growing up played the piano but was not interested in musicals at all. She did say that her four years playing girls rugby prepared her for life in the musical theatre.

Jackie met me for dinner but first, we stopped at the world famous Levain Bakery for their cookies. We wanted real food so I smuggled them in my bag and we were off to Compass for dinner. Compass is a restaurant on the Upper West Side and, though normally crazy expensive, they had a pre-theatre dinner for $35 (3 courses). We both ordered off that menu and they threw in an amuse-bouche, appetizer, entree, dessert, cookies AND (the best part), little lemon coffee cakes to eat for breakfast the next morning.

We then caught the subway down to 50th to see Shrek the musical. Jackie had scored tickets from TKTS (I already had tickets from my conference) and it turned out to be a really fun show. I had the songs memorized because it's all Ellis and Millie will listen to in the car. We had a talk back after the show with Chris Seiber (Lord Farquad) and Jon Tartaglia (Pinochoccio- but most famous for being in Avenue Q and his own Disney show, Johnny and the Sprites). He started working for Sesame Street at age 16.

After that, it was back to the hotel to eat our Levain Bakery cookies from earlier that day- and we both passed out into a diabetic coma.

Above is a picture of the famous Levain cookie- and it's worth it.

July in New York (Part 2)

As Jackie and I stumbled into the summer New York sun, we both noticed there was no humidity- in fact, it felt great. After a quick lunch at Le Pain Quotidian (Jackie had egg salad with sardines! I had an Italian tasting platter) we went off to hear Seth Rudetsky interview Broadway actors live from Times Square. It was fun listening to Andy Karl (from 9 to 5) and the original Motormouth MayBelle from Hairspray. We headed over to TKTS- only to find not much available- at least nothing we hadn't already seen before. After debating a bit, we decided to head over to God of Carnage- a play that won the Tony for Best Play. It was starring Jeff Daniels and James Gandolfini so it was a hot ticket- and I was hoping it was sold out- the reason being if a show is sold out, you can buy standing room tickets for $25- which we did. After buying our tickets, we checked out the hotel we'll be staying in next June (the Hampton Inn Times Square is going to be awesome! Come with us!), we both quickly drank caffeinated beverages to keep us going and we went to the show.
The play was awesome (we stood next to a cool guy from Seattle who was seeing his first Broadway show)- it's about 2 sets of parents (both well off) who get together after one of their sons beats up the son of the other couple. Even thought the topic was serious, it was hilarious (especially a moment of projectile vomiting) and we both loved it. It was 90 minutes exactly- no intermission and we didn't mind standing. http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1543292572?bctid=17212090001
After the play, we went back to TKTS and were excited to see that Our Town- a classic piece was on for Off-Broadway. We bought tickets (for $30) and had a nice chat with an elderly gentleman who was in line in front of us.
After that, it was off to a restaurant called Artisenal- which is famous primarily for cheeses. We had amazing fondue and a 3 course tasting lunch menu. Everything was great (and we only paid lunch prices- and our cool waitress comped us an appetizer so we could "try it, cause it's great in the fondue"-which it was).
After that, we rolled down to Greenwich Village to see Our Town- after wandering through some cool historical streets. Our Town was at the historic Bleecker Street Theatre- which only holds 140 people. The show was sold out- and words cannot do justice to this amazing production. If you are interested, look over this video- all I can say is, it was probably Jackie and my favorite show of the trip.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1543292572?bctid=14151054001
After the show, we went right back to the hotel to find that they turned down our beds and left us each a famous New York Black & White cookie. We fell asleep quickly ready for more the next day.

July in New York (Part 1)

Tuesday, 8:00pm. Jackie and I have just dropped the girls off at my parents and we are headed to NYC. I'm going to a musical theatre conference at Lincoln Center and Jackie is going for a good time.

Jackie's nickname for this getaway is "Stitch-Head" because she chose the day before our flight to have a cyst removed from her head- and she's in minor pain.

As we near the airport for our 11:59pm nonstop flight, we both receive calls on our cells informing us that our flight has been postponed and would be leaving at 1:25am.

We check-in, had our bodies fully scanned and probed at security, get a Cinn-A-Bon and proceed to watch CNN replay the Michael Jackson memorial service 5000 times. After reading a newspaper, I try to fall asleep only to have Mariah Carey wake me up every time she sings.

As we wearily board the plane at 1:20am, I try to sleep while listening to my Ipod.

We stumble off the plane at 8:30am at JFK. The weather looks beautiful and we had planned on going directly over to Central Park to try to score tickets to 12th Night with Anne Hathaway and Audra McDonald. That was when our flight was landing at 6:30am- we decide to tell our cab to go there anyway. We hit Central Park West at 9:30am- only to find the line-literally- two miles long. I knew people started lining up at 5:00am for 2 free tickets (that aren't distributed until 1:00pm) so, after following the line a bit, we hit the sidewalk for our hotel.

At this point, Jackie is lugging our suitcase behind her and we walked from 92nd street to 60th. Jackie refused to use the subway "for my penance" (whatever that means)- although the plus was walking along Central Park West I got to meet Sutton Foster who was walking with her dog. She was very polite. We arrive at the Empire Hotel across from Lincoln Center and quickly realize that we are not dressed like the rest of the guests (and staff for that matter). This hotel was beautiful- and- having not changed our clothes from our flight plus having just walked over 30 blocks we were not looking our best.

I thought that we would just check our luggage because it was only 10:30 and check in wasn't until 2:00pm. Luckily, the guy had a king room available (the rack rate for this room was $700 a night- I paid $125 off Priceline) and up we went to crash.

The first thing I noticed about the room was that the shower was from the future. There was no shower curtain- or glass. It was open to the whole bathroom with a slatted, wooden floor (with the drain underneath). There was an overhead rain shower head- and a hand held water nozzle. I carefully disrobed in the room (the bathroom was too small to take off your clothes in), carefully turned on the water- and it blasted out of the nozzle onto the ceiling- arcing over the sink and pooling around the toilet. I could not for the life of me find the switch to turn on the overhead shower head- so I held the nozzle (with water blasting my head off) with one hand while I tried, vainly, to open the shampoo with the other hand (I ended up using my teeth). After the "shower", I went out to find Jackie asleep so I woke her in fury at the shower. I called maintenance and requested them to fix our shower- and fix the toilet that was leaking too (I couldn't figure out how so much water got around the toilet when I was far away in the shower- with no curtain, glass or door on it. I also asked for an ironing board. When the nice housekeeper arrived, I told her about our broken shower head- and she promptly hopped in the shower and turned it on correctly. I couldn't see the switch under the knob. I quickly mopped up the water around the toilet while she wasn't looking.

After that- we stumbled out of the hotel to do lunch and get our tickets for 2 shows that day. Our groggy adventure had begun.

Professional Laying

So Jackie and I decided to pull out all the stops this 4th of July and celebrate our nation's birth... by putting a new carpet pad under the carpet where water had leaked a week ago from a faulty pressure valve in our hot water heater in our new home that we've only lived in a month.

Last Saturday, after doing a load of laundry, I was downstairs and heard dripping. I went into the unfinished portion of our basement to discover a large pool of water stemming from hot water shooting out of the copper pipe coming out of our water heater. I ran upstairs to turn on all the faucets (it had done this once before- on the first day we moved in) to make it stop- but it was too late. Water had leaked under one of the walls and into the carpet/carpet pad of our office.

So, to celebrate our nation's Independence, (and after pulling up the carpet after church last week), Jackie and I cut out a new carpet pad, threw away the wet portion of the old one, laid the carpet back down and hammered it back onto the tack strip. We had no idea what we're doing and hopefully it stays down (or have huge ripples and bubbles from our professional job). We are now letting everyone know we are available for similar jobs because we feel professional now. Happy 1st month in our new house.

Skin Deep

So Jackie and I made a friendly visit to our local dermatologist on Tuesday. Note to self: do not schedule a duo appointment during the girls nap time. This may result in you having to take both girls into the men's bathroom to change Ellis while Millie thinks the urinal is a futuristic drinking fountain.

After having my moles checked and getting cream to rub on various pieces of skin, I asked the doctor about a random piece of skin that appeared on my thigh one day. I called it my "nubbin" or I guess, like a James Bond villain, it was my third nipple (just located far away). The doc told me he could remove it in 5 seconds, but because it was considered a cosmetic surgery, it wouldn't be covered by insurance and cost $80. So, he told me how to operate on myself. I am going to pass along this $80 information to you so that you can remove any unwanted skin.

Step #1: Numb the area with ice for 90 seconds.

Step #2: Have cuticle scissors, nasal spray, q-tips and a band aid nearby.

Step #3: After icing, cut the skin off with the cuticle scissors and quickly apply nasal spray to the q-tip and hold over open wound.

Step #4: Have Jackie pound on the door saying, "You shouldn't be performing surgery on yourself!! Let me do it. Those had better not be my good cuticle scissors!"

Step #5: Flush excised skin down the toilet (along with bloody toilet paper).

Step #6: Slap band aid on wound. It doesn't really hurt- just kind of stings from the nasal spray.

Final Step: Pray you don't have to go for stitches and try to explain to the doctor why there is an open wound on your thigh covered with nasal spray.

Genius

This is great:


High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds

You Know You Want To...

It's that time of summer- pull out your crap to start selling on Ebay or Craigslist- or start harvesting your (or others) organs (or, even worse, get a job) so you can come with Jackie and me to New York City for a week in June of 2010.

Here's the skinny:

When: Tuesday, June 8-Monday, June 14th 2010

We will either leave on a red-eye flight Monday night (not my 1st choice) or early, early Tuesday morning.

Where: Hampton Inn Times Square North

A new hotel for us, but a great deal because it includes either a hot, sit-down breakfast or a breakfast to-go. Still in a great location (across from the Wicked theatre) right in the middle of Times Square.

Cost: I am doing my best to keep the price at $1850 for quad hotel occupancy. It will not be over $1900 (for 4 in a room- adults will be with adults- unless I don't like you and then I'll put you with my sophomore boy students).

What do I get for my money? Good question- first you get me and Jackie for a week in NYC-you cannot put a price on that (ask Austin Cope or Jared Stromberg when we took them to Pomme Frites when everyone else was "too tired". Babies). Also, it's extra fun when Jackie and I are both sleep deprived- ask my parents when they shared a room with us in 2006.

Other than our sparkling conversation, here's what else you get:

• Round-trip airfare from SLC (or wherever you want to fly out of- Thomas Travel is our agency and they will hook you up or discount the flight amount if you find your own).


• 7 Day Unlimited Metro Card. We will teach you all you need to know about the subway system (and if you ride with Clin or Brent Cox, you may accidentally end up in Harlem if you get on the express train on accident). You will be pros with the system by the end of the week.
  
• Metropolitan Museum of Art tour (one year the highlight was the Easter Island fertility statues. They got lots of snickers from my students).


• Top of the Roc and NBC Studios Tour (while not as high as the Empire State, the elevators are cooler).


• 6 nights/7 days hotel accommodations ($1850 for Quad, more for 3 and 2 to a room).


• Shuttles to and from the airport


• Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island Tour/Boat ride


• and the best part... Orchestra tickets to 5 Broadway Musicals and 1 Broadway play- with open times slots so that you can see 3 additional shows of your choice on your own. Shows I am looking at right now for the group include: SpiderMan (the new extravaganza by Julie Taymor- director of The Lion King and Bono and The Edge as composers. This is the most expensive Broadway musical ever), The Addams Family (with Nathan Lane and Bebe Newerth), Catch Me If You Can (by the same team that did Hairspray), Billy Elliot (just won the Tony for Best Musical). So far, unlike our 2002 trip, there is nothing involving full frontal nudity, but, because my mom is probably coming on the trip, I'll do my best to find something...

So- what I need is for you to turn in your deposit of $300 before October 1st, 2009. Money is non-refundable because show tickets, etc. are non-refundable. If you're interested, leave a comment and I'll send you a registration packet and give you more info. This trip will be a blast- come with us in 2010! Those of you that have been in the past, feel free to contribute testimonials (or your favorite moments- this will be the 5th summer trip Jackie and I have done... and no, I don't need any chaperones- I already got the ones I need).