Friday, January 15, 2010

Bladders


So today at the end of my Film Studies class, I came as close as I ever had in my adult life to wetting my pants. In a normal classroom situation, I would excuse myself and run to the restroom. However, today the entire class was being graded on a presentation- and there was literally no time for me to leave. I tried several positions to relieve the agony in my bladder- sitting down at my desk, sitting down on my table, sitting down in my chair, standing with one foot casually resting on a chair (almost lost it there) and pacing back and forth in the back of the class like an mental patient trying not to see the visions in their head. The problem was not helped when one group kept talking on and on about how their film needed a large water tank to be the ocean at the end of their film.

Mercifully, the presentations ended with 2 minutes left of class- I yelled, congrats! It's the end of the semester- I probably won't see you again unless you take Film 2- I'm letting you go 2 minutes early! As I was trotting to the door (I was not capable of running at this point), a student comes up to ask me about his final presentation (which he did very well on) and about how the idea for his zombie movie came to him at 1:00am. Through clenched teeth, clenched urethra and summing all the powers of the great beyond, I replied that I had to run to a faculty meeting so I wouldn't be late. With that, I briskly walked to the men's bathroom and found sweet relief.

Happy end of 1st semester. Half way done with the school year.