(33) Years of Jackie

33 Reasons why Everyone (esp. me) loves Jackie:

1. She first caught my eye dressed in full makeup as a porcupine.

2. Her face cannot tell a lie.

3. She doesn't realize how funny she actually is- which makes her even funnier.

4. She can win my students hearts by singing on a bus the complete lyrics to Ice Ice Baby.

5. She is now queen of couponing. Bordering on obsessive. She'll get me deodorant for $.30- and her big birthday gift was a Sunday subscription to 2 papers for more coupons.

6. She'll Wii sword fight with Millie.

7. She tells our daughters that their beautiful AND smart.

8. For the most part, we like the same shows on tv.

9. I introduced her to the joys of shrimp cocktail on our honeymoon- and she's liked it ever since.

10. She was not scared off when she first met my family in Nov. of 1999- she even sat by Nate in the car as he sang Shake your Bon Bon by Ricky Martin a hundred times in a row.

11. She liked to read.

12. She's not just an eternal companion- she's an eternal chaperone.

13. She's a great performer- she doesn't do it often- like Hailey's Comet, you have to catch it quick.

14. She introduced me to the world of NPR.

15. She plays the piano.

16. She used to hate to cook. Now she still hates it, but she can make gourmet recipes.

17. She doesn't like to drink milk- which leaves more for me.

18. She addicted to Diet Coke/Pepsi/whatever she has a coupon for.

19. She'll come and coach my MDT students- and they'll listen to her over me.

20. She's obsessed with lawn maintenance.

21. She's obsessed with recycling.

22. She's obsessed with not owning animals. I tried to get her to read All Creatures Great and Small. Didn't work.

23. She gets car/bus/air sick really easily. (There was vomiting on our honeymoon. and on a school bus trip to Cedar City).

24. While not crazy about cake, she does enjoy other desserts.

25. Periodically her jaw will dislocate in her sleep.

26. She looks good with blond, brown, long or short hair.

27. Some days she wants to be a large African American woman with a voice to match.

28. She still owns clothes from high school.

29. She can get along/talk to ANYONE. Unless their kind of famous. Then she won't speak.

30. She loves me and Millie and Ellis- even after one of us wets their pants on the carpet (not saying who...)

31. She'll be the first to admit that some days just need Cafe Rio.

32. She's multi-talented, beautiful and smart.

33. Here's to many more birthdays- because, as she has cross-stitched on a pillow- I have to die first.

Happy Birthday!

Beard Watch 2010

When I was a lad (well, a teenage lad) I used to sneak peaks of the book The Joy of Sex at our local library. The pictures were somewhat scary because it was from the late 70's and the couple were scary (and hairy). Looking at myself in the mirror this morning, I realized that my Fiddler beard makes me look like the guy from The Joy of Sex book (and since no haircuts are allowed, the hair is gonna look like him pretty soon too):

So that's what my beard looks like.

A scary hippie from a how-to sex manual from the 70's.

I Wish Our Ward Choir Was Like...

Words cannot describe this- but I promise you if you watch all the way through, you will get a sneak peak of what the Mormon Tabernacle Choir has up their sleeve for a future performance. PLEASE WATCH ALL THE WAY THROUGH- it's worth it.

Bladders

So today at the end of my Film Studies class, I came as close as I ever had in my adult life to wetting my pants. In a normal classroom situation, I would excuse myself and run to the restroom. However, today the entire class was being graded on a presentation- and there was literally no time for me to leave. I tried several positions to relieve the agony in my bladder- sitting down at my desk, sitting down on my table, sitting down in my chair, standing with one foot casually resting on a chair (almost lost it there) and pacing back and forth in the back of the class like an mental patient trying not to see the visions in their head. The problem was not helped when one group kept talking on and on about how their film needed a large water tank to be the ocean at the end of their film.

Mercifully, the presentations ended with 2 minutes left of class- I yelled, congrats! It's the end of the semester- I probably won't see you again unless you take Film 2- I'm letting you go 2 minutes early! As I was trotting to the door (I was not capable of running at this point), a student comes up to ask me about his final presentation (which he did very well on) and about how the idea for his zombie movie came to him at 1:00am. Through clenched teeth, clenched urethra and summing all the powers of the great beyond, I replied that I had to run to a faculty meeting so I wouldn't be late. With that, I briskly walked to the men's bathroom and found sweet relief.

Happy end of 1st semester. Half way done with the school year.

Beard Watch 2010

I am growing a beard. Not just any beard mind you... I'm not shaving until April 10, 2010. Some fellow teachers at my school at first thought it was just stubble for the holidays. Now that I'm starting to look like the lumberjack that I think has always been inside of me, they know me well enough to ask if it's for a show.

I'm currently in rehearsals to play Avram in Fiddler on the Roof at Hale Center Theatre. You don't know the character of Avram? I bet you do. You know the song "Anatevka" when the Jews are being forced to leave their village by the Russians? Avram is the one that sings "A hat." Got it now? I'm him.

This is the 3rd production of Fiddler that I've been in.

#1- 1985. The Russian soloist in "To Life" in my elementary school's production. My microphone falls down my pants. No one hears me. My sister Emily is a fluorescent ghost in the Dream Sequence. The actor playing Tevye gets in trouble for saying "shit" backstage with his microphone still on.

#2- 2000. The Russian soloist in "To Life" at Riverton High School's production of Fiddler. I again, play the Russian soloist because not one boy that auditions can sustain a high F# long enough. I'm also the musical and technical director. When "To Life" comes on, I run down onto the stage, sing, start to dance with Teyve, and then run back upstairs to direct the spotlights.

It's strange because a lot of teachers ask me if I'm Tevye when I tell them I'm in Fiddler. I think they're just secretly telling me that I'm fat.

So, I'm not allowed to shave or cut my hair until the show is over. I think by then I'll look like Steve Carell in Evan Almighty. Maybe I'll even let birds live in my whiskers to protect them from the cold. A stage crew student told me today that if my beard gets long enough, I could braid it and look like Satan. I sarcastically told him thanks, but he assured me it was a compliment.

Maybe if you ask Jackie kindly, she'll post a picture of me on her blog with my 3 week beard. Beard watch 2010 has begun!

Broadway Revue

So if you're like the Eaton's, you still have your Christmas tree up (and it looks like it will continue to be up to become a Valentine's Tree next month) and you're living off stale fruitcake and sour eggnog in the fridge.

Well, get rid of the holiday doldrums and come to Riverton High School to see Broadway and All That Jazz a musical revue put on by the 24 students in my Music, Dance, Theatre class. It performs Friday, January 8th and Monday, January 11th at 7:00pm. For a measly $6.00, you get 24 songs from Broadway and Off-Broadway musicals (that works out to $.25 a song! Cheaper than I-Tunes and LIVE). Here's the show (accompanied by the amazing Kelly DeHaan- who will be singing, to quote him, "a beautiful but a bitch of a song").

All That Jazz- Chicago (done in scandelous Fosse style)

Lion Tamer- The Magic Show (made famous by Kristen Chenoweth- although, also according to Kelly DeHaan, on her recording, she takes the song so slow she was probably on a perscription drug)

Summer Lovin'- Grease (extolling the virtues of giving in to peer pressure to make a juvenile deliquent want to sleep with you)

Sarah Brown Eyes- Ragtime (performed by white actors because we are "color-challenged" at RHS)

Coastin'- Edges (a great song by a new composing team)

He Vas My Boyfriend- Young Frankenstein (no letters please)

We Can Do It- The Producers (2 Mel Brooks songs in a row)

I Know It's Today- Shrek (for Millie and Ellis)

Follow Your Heart- Urinetown (because the show is about peeing)

A Little More Homework- 13

He Did It- Curtains

Run Away with Me- The Unauthorized Autobiography of Samantha Brown

9 to 5- 9 to 5 (by Dolly Parton!)

Never Neverland- (not from Peter Pan)

Secondary Characters- Title of Show

Standin' on the Corner- The Most Happy Fella

It Won't Be Long Now- In the Heights

We Beseech Thee- Godspell (hippies)

What Am I Doin'- Closer Than Ever (a fun song about stalking)

Positive- Legally Blonde (the hardest song Kelly has to play)

Those Canaan Days- Joseph

I'm the Bravest Individual - Sweet Charity (no Fosse movement in this one)

I'd Give It All For You- Songs For a New World (2 Jason Robert Brown songs in the revue)

Don't Stop Believin'- Glee/Rock of Ages

So, grab the fam and come on down with $6 and see this great show- Friday and Monday!

Christmas Break Films 2009

These are the films I saw over Christmas Break 2009:

The Princess & the Frog- It made me happy. The songs were great, it had fun Disney characters and it was funny. A

Up in the Air- Great script, great performances from all the actors- something affecting about using real people talking to the camera about losing their jobs. A film that sums up the feelings of 2009. A

Avatar- Glad I saw it in 3-D. Amazing visuals- to bad the plot couldn't have been something new and unique. Some of the dialogue wasn't to great either... B-

Sherlock Holmes- Really fun (although somethimes more style over substance)- but I really liked Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. It was also fun seeing one of the best actors in BBC's Little Dorritt as the police inspector. B+

Paranormal Activity- I like films made for $15000 that are still effective. It made me pull my blanket up a little- and Jackie refused to be in the same room with it. B

Inglorius Basterds- I can't stop thinking about the first 20 minutes- and the guy that played the Nazi Hunter deserves the Best Supporting Actor Oscar. Brad Pitt was fun in it as well. It's nice to see that Quentin can restrain himself. I even got Jackie to watch it. B+

A thank you to babysitters and family members that made this list possible. We could not have seen these without you. Now that it's 2010, it's back to bed at 10:00pm sharp.

Excited about 2010

Things I'm excited for in 2010:

• Church at 11:00am! No more working on my lesson during Sunday School... well, not spending as much time working on my lesson during Sunday School. Copies still need to be made.
  
• Fun theatrical experiences: My Music, Dance, Theatre class's Musical Revue (more in the next blog), a funny Region Play, the Utah Theatre Conference at UVU this year, being in Fiddler on the Roof at Hale, directing an un-yet chosen musical in spring and the big NYC trip in June of 2010 with 72 people...


• Taking Millie to see the Broadway The Lion King tour in Salt Lake in August.


• Millie turning 5 and starting kindergarten.


• Ellis turning 3 and leaving the confinement of her crib.


• Jackie getting paid to create a class for the U of U on aging in the arts.


• Going to see movies like Iron Man 2, Dispicable Me, and Date Night with Steve Carell and Tina Fey.


• A new show on HBO by the same creators of The Wire about New Orleans post-Katrina. If it's half as good as The Wire...


• Netflixing things like Weeds, The Shield and other tv shows we missed.


• Netflixing at least 1 classic (pre-1975) award winning film that I have not seen. This month's entry is The Man Who Would be King.


• The Summer's family reunion (place TBA)


• Using Hale $$ for a family vacation (or paying off the appliances, car or putting in a bathroom downstairs)


• Fencing against Jackie and Millie with Wii Sports Resort.

Happy 2010!!