April

Millie's 6th Birthday. She got a lot of fun presents (but announced to Jackie that Grandma and Grandpas give better presents than Mom and Dad- she is now off my Disneyland list- other 6 year olds may send me a headshot and resume to be considered as Millie's understudy on our Disneyland trip in June. Must be able to pray that you won't hurt your bottom at the top of a water slide at the new rec center pool while a long line of children are behind you ready to push you down).
When riding her bike with a new helmet and bike bell (that I attached)- she rings the bell- and it falls onto the sidewalk in a thousand pieces. Though it is a Disney Princess bell, no amount of Disney magic is going to be able to put this bell back together.
She then goes to bed under the new "princess canopy" from Ikea (that I put up)- it proceeds to fall off the ceiling and onto her head the next morning.
There is a chirping sound driving her crazy- I try to find the smoke alarm somewhere upstairs that needs a new battery- I replace it- still more chirping. Finally (while Jackie is out of town at a conference) it drives me to the point of profanity and I unplug all of the upstairs smoke detectors.
Unfortunately, my father (innocently enough) asks how the alarms are doing- in front of Jackie. This proceeds to unravel my web of lies involving the smoke alarms in front of her. Jackie has the family go on an outing to Walmart to purchase 10 9 volt batteries to replace every single smoke detector in the house.
After doing all that- still chirping from downstairs. The alarm in the family room has wiring issues- I think I solve it by reconnecting everything while simultaneously not exploding with electrical current. Jackie helps by periodically asking, "do you know what you're doing?" and the always helpful, "please don't kill yourself."
2 days later, the stupid thing falls off the ceiling.
Our great cousin Curt comes over with his family for Millie's birthday (and so he can have gluten filled cake)- but as is custom at the Eaton home, if you come for cake, you must fix something- and he proceeds to rewire the smoke alarm- AND attach it to the ceiling so it doesn't fall on someones head!
He also looks at our bathroom sink drain stop that stopped working- pulls it out- does something fancy under the sink (while I nodded pretending that I had any idea what he was talking about)- pulled out a part that I will now take to Home Depot to "attempt" to fix. Somehow, the sink will probably explode in Millie's face.
And what, you may well ask, is up with our bathroom towel rack that fell off the wall in November- after me "fixing" it 3 other times? Don't worry your pretty head dear reader. It is still laying on our bedroom floor looking forlorn. Jackie has learned to just shake herself dry like a Labrador retriever after taking a shower.