Master Forger

I've decided I want to quit my job and become a full time forger. Other than the minor issue that forging (as opposed to foraging: ie, nuts, berries, loin clothes, etc.)(Or forging involving an open fire. I have long eyelashes that can easily be burnt) is frowned upon (at least in polite society or in the eyes of the government). But, as opposed to teaching theatre and stage crew, I bet a professional forger doesn't have to worry about their stage crew boys dropping a 100 pound trap door on a classmate's foot, popping off the middle toenail, while I squirt where the nail should be with alcohol. Luckily his foot wasn't fractured- but it was the first time I've ever seen someones foot become dislocated (again, luckily it wasn't dislocated from his body...). Someone trying to forge a Picasso painting for millions of dollars or the new $5 bill doesn't have to deal with that. Maybe a little ink under the nails and baking the painting in the oven so it looks old, but no toe nails popping off in the life of a forger. Also, forgers don't have to deal with film studies students raising their hands and wondering why there's no talking in the Charlie Chaplin silent film clip I'm showing in class. A forger would be hard at work trying to talk some European or Saudi billionaire into buying their Vermeer art print that was stolen by the Nazis in WW2 and you "found" at the DI.

Finally, a forger wouldn't have to cut 60 students from the Taming of the Shrew auditions because there are only 5 female and 7 male roles available. A professional forger would be working on selling a priceless folio they created over a weekend of the long-lost Shakespeare play Bosoms of the Midwife (discovered at a neighbors garage sale- on the east side of town where the garage sales are better). That's why I want to be a forger.