January Blahs

January, as a whole, bites. I think today the high reached a toe-warming 15 degrees- even though the sun was shining. It's almost like after all of the warmth (hot coco-wise), presents, fun and food of Christmas and New Years, December decides to take a nice poo over the next 30 days (except for your birthday Jackie!) Anyway, all of this cold has me pondering a few things:

1- I want a vacation. At first I thought somewhere warm, but at this point, I just want a change of scenery. Because I have a student teacher right now, it's tempting to take off somewhere exotic, but, unfortunately, a couple of things stand in the way of this- A: Although I could claim it was a birthday present, now that Jackie has read this blog, she will know that's a big fat lie. It's purely selfish. We are to be saving money for a minivan- I know, you're thinking, those Eaton's. Where will their grandiose dreams end? The answer? When we have a 2008 Honda Odyssey that will make Millie stop kicking the back of my seat. B: What do we do with our girls? My parents are watching them when we go to NYC in June, and I don't want anything to jeopardize that arrangement. Plus, Millie has just begun sleeping nightly in a big bed and we would feel too bad for any baby-sitter to do hourly potty checks to make sure she doesn't wet the big bed. So far, telling Millie that while Princess Ariel (currently residing on the sheets on her bed) enjoys being under the sea, she does not like man-made oceans being dumped on her head (or words to that effect). It's worked so far.

2- Movies released in theatres in January suck. Unless we're getting NYC and LA movie cast-offs (that technically opened there in Dec. to be considered for awards) NOTHING good opens in theatres in January. To add to this, Flight of the Conchords has been stuck at the top of our Netflix queue for 2 months under "Long Wait" so it keeps sending us documentaries that Jackie put in our queue months ago. You don't know how depressing it is to go out to the mailbox anticipating a rollicking HBO folk music comedy and instead opening 3 hours and 40 min. (and that's just the 1st of 2 discs) of "The Farmer's Wife" a PBS documentary from 1998 or Werner Herzog's laugh-riot, "Little Dieter Learns to Fly" about a prisoner of war who escapes barefoot into the jungle of Vietnam. The Farmer's Wife turned out to be fascinating (and hopefully will cure Jackie of her obsession of living off the land), but still...

3- The writers strike needs to end RIGHT NOW (is it sacrilege to put the Writers and Producers Guild on the temple prayer role?). If it weren't for Bravo's never-ending supply of amazing reality television (of which I be sure and give thanks every night in my prayers- heaven bless Heidi Klum and her outrageous clothing designers), I would be holed up in my room with a large Symphony candy bar (left over from Christmas) writing a blog... oh wait...

4- The check engine now light that has been on 3 days on my dashboard. I took it in and they said it's an oxygen sensor that needs to be replaced before emissions (not until May) and I don't need to worry unless the light flashes. Once again, I blame January. This light wouldn't dare come on in the happy month of December.

5- To drown my sorrows, all I want is comfort food- thus I'm as big as a blimp (or pleasingly plump or ribaldly rotund... take your pick) but, when watching poor overweight (and tone deaf) Temptress audition for American Idol last night, I considered getting up to dance to each audition to burn calories- but I quickly dove back under my blanket because, to come full circle, January is too cold to do anything.