Road Trip Last Day!

The bright Vegas sun shines through our floor to ceiling windows- and we hear Ellis happily chattering away, but we can handle it- because she's in her own room! (with a huge plasma TV, large desk, and mini-bar).
1st order of the day: Take Millie swimming. The pools at Mandalay are awesome. Millie and I tromp through the hotel in our bathing suits. We get outside and Millie becomes enamored with the 7 elephant statues shooting water out of their trunks. Although it's 9:00am, it's hot and there are several people sunning themselves. Millie and I choose a pool that several people are resting around- but no one is swimming. The pool is deep and I quickly get tired of holding Millie so we go try the lazy river. Millie saw other kids in inner-tubes and wanted one, but I told her that her daddy is one big inner-tube and more interactive. I quickly regret this statement as Millie did not want to get out of the lazy river. I briefly considered renting a tube- but at $8.00, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
After a few more times around (and a few more dips in the pool), it became time to go back in. Millie sadly blew kisses to the elephant statues and told them bye- it was then time for the Mandalay breakfast buffet.
Now, I am not ashamed to admit that I enjoy a Vegas buffet- and am quite the connoisseur of them. To me, nothing beats the Paris buffet, but Mandalay was pretty good- and our server immediately took pity on Jackie and she quickly put him to work. Millie and Ellis scored all sorts of treats from him (he introduced Millie to the wonder and joy of Fruit Loops). After Ellis caused permanent carpet damage under her high chair (thanks to the many items- liquids and solids that she dumped down there) and after Jackie realized there is no such thing as a changing table in any Vegas bathroom, we checked out of the hotel- but not before Millie was holding her stomach in desperate need of a poop.
While Ellis and I waited in the lobby, we heard Jackie pleading in the bathroom for Millie to poop before we got in the car and had a long drive back home. After bribing and cajoling... Millie refused, got off the potty and ran out.
Having the helpful bellhop load our luggage (and after receiving the high-rolling $3.00 tip), we hit the open highway. Everyone (except me) fell asleep quickly- and I could only find the born-again Christian radio station (although it took me 3 songs to realize it- I thought one of the songs was saying "Shake your booty for wide loads" instead of "Shake for the glory of the Lord." I'm recommending the song for our ward choir performance in May).
As we approached the Arizona canyon right before St. George, everyone woke up... because I got pulled over by the poor Arizona highway patrolman that's posted in that forsaken wilderness. As Jackie wiped the drool off her face (he came to her window), she charmed him with a smile- and he let me off with a warning (don't speed in construction zones).
We stopped at Jack-in-the-box in St, George for a quick potty break- that turned into 30 minutes of trying to get Millie to poop. Didn't happen.
Another stop in Beaver- didn't happen.
Another stop in Fillmore- didn't happen.
Almost emergency stop on the side of the road in Provo (and me definitely breaking the speeding law because we were SO CLOSE to home)- didn't happen (thank the heavens above).
We finally make it home. Millie rushed upstairs to the bathroom- doesn't happen.
Kids thrown in bed (with a gentle hug and kiss)- Clin and Jackie in bed by 9:00pm- with us, the vacation never ends!

Road Trip Day #5

We woke up Sunday morning and get all packed up. In our guidebook I found an awesome-sounding breakfast place for Easter- it's breakfast, then the beach.

We drive by the breakfast place and obviously I am not the only person that knows about this place- the line is out the door. We look back at Millie and Ellis who are, for the moment, contentedly looking out the window at a 72 degree, sunshine filled day. We don't think it will last long and go to Denny's instead.

After breakfast it's off to the beach. The public parking for Mission Beach is TIGHT- meaning that I have to negotiate an 8-point turn to get into the space- while 10 cars that can't fit by me wait patiently. After changing Millie into her suit, off we went!

Millie was nervous of the water, but enjoyed playing with her sand toys and bucket. I had lost my sunglasses at this point (for anyone who has ever traveled with me knows that at some point I WILL lose or break my sunglasses) so Ellis and I went off to find a cheap replacement pair. While Ellis and I were gone, we missed the German man that changed into his bathing suit right behind Jackie and Millie- much to the amusement of the hundreds of other beach goers.

After I got back, Millie said she needed to go potty. After a few minutes, Jackie came back and said, "we're done here. Get the stuff, let's go." We head back to the van and Jackie starts changing Millie- which is tricky because Millie had pooped her suit (Millie Poop-Watch 2008: 1). While several cars line up to take our spot, Millie is sad because she doesn't want to get in her car seat, Ellis doesn't want to get in her car seat, my new sunglasses are too tight on my ears and Jackie is wrapping Millie's soiled suit into a plastic bag. Time to hit the road for a 5 hour drive to Vegas.

After getting lost trying to find a gas station, we hit the I-15 thinking traffic will be a breeze because, it's a Sunday afternoon- only to hit a southern California traffic jam as everyone is trying to get to the coast.

Luckily we had a little more battery on the Ipod and we made it to Barstow (with a quick potty stop at Trader Joe's). After a quick meal at Burger King (where Millie wet herself on the play land), we saw the lights of Vegas rising like a mirage in the desert.

I had gotten a killer deal on a superfancy, 5-star hotel on Expedia. The hotel was attached to Mandalay Bay- which we thought would be fun for it's 10 pools. The hotel name is THEhotel and as we pulled (after driving by it a few times) into valet parking, next to the Hummer limo, in my parents 1999 minivan with a soiled bathing suit on the passenger floor, we got out of the van feeling decidedly 2-star. It was also really fun to wave the bellman down to make sure he didn't forget Millie's The Little Mermaid blanket and pillow.

Ellis charmed the check-in staff by belching as my keys were given to us- and up to the 15th floor we went- only to realize the room we were given was either currently occupied or hadn't had housekeeping come yet. So, back down the elevator we went- to get our new room.

Our new room was on the 25th floor and was amazing. Two rooms and bathrooms, 2 huge flat screen plasma tv's and we both thought the same thing- Ellis can sleep in her own room tonight. Even Millie was impressed with the accommodations and claimed the smaller bathroom as "hers".

We went to the 24 hour coffee shop for some food (dragging two small girls with us made sure that we were put in the farthest corner of the restaurant)- Millie ate fruit and shared my ice cream, Jackie ate a huge salad and Ellis screamed while we kept feeding her the bread basket.

After all of us had a bath in the huge tub (not at the same time- and Jackie was in heaven because there was a wall mounted tv in the bathroom so she could watch Oprah's Big Give), we all fell asleep in 5-star splendor (after Millie slipped on the floor after her bath, causing her to not make it to the potty and accidentally peeing on the marble floor).

Quick Break

We'll return to the San Diego story shortly, but today, we were out for lunch and Millie turned to me and whispered, "Daddy, I have poop in my pants." Jackie quickly took her into the restroom. They both returned minutes later and I asked Jackie if it was bad. Jackie looked at me and held out a piece of chalk to me. As I looked at it quizzically, Millie yelled loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear, "Daddy, I had chalk up my bum." I think Ikea has their next spokesperson for their chalk and easel.

Road Trip Day #4

San Diego Zoo!
As we pulled our burnt carcasses out of bed (7:30am of coarse), we wondered how this day would go. All things considered, Seaworld hadn't been to traumatic, surely the zoo would be more low-key.
We decided to get breakfast on the way to the zoo (we wanted to be there right at 9:00am because it was Easter Saturday) so we quickly showered- all was well until Clin and the girls heard a horrific crash from the bathroom while Jackie was showering. Clin and Millie ran in (with Ellis crawling behind like a faithful sheepdog) to find Mom laying in what could only be called a tribute to Janet Leigh in Psycho after Norman Bates had finished her off. It seems that Jackie lost her footing on a loose mat in the tub, and- because her right arm was broken- had no means of catching herself- so she tried to find the most comfortable way to fall. Needless to say, Jackie was only allowed baths after this incident.
After our morning routine was complete, the burnt, lame, bruised and teething Eaton clan were off to the zoo.
It seemed that most of San Diego was there (and we noticed it was already hotter than the day before- mainly because we were more inland) so we headed quickly for the bus tour of the park. Jackie and I enjoyed looking at the animals- Millie was mainly interested in her fruit snacks and Ellis was occupied with her bottle. At one moment, Millie announced she was getting off the bus- and was thoroughly irritated when I stopped her. She did like watching the elephants get fed (mainly because she watched the film Dumbo the week before our trip).
After the bus, we realized we were starving- because we forgot to get breakfast on the way. We walked around the monkey cages and saw two hippos doing an underwater ballet with each other. We waited in line to see the baby panda (we just saw his bum- Millie was occupied with her candy necklace- Ellis, her bottle).
We decided it was hot and time for a rest- so we went to a small outdoor amphitheatre to see a wild animal show. While we waited for the show to start, Millie did bubbles and I fed Ellis green peas. As the show started, I was trying to reposition Ellis on my lap- causing the bottle of peas to fall on the cement floor, shattering into a thousand pieces- and the plastic spoon (with mashed peas still on it) to fly through the air, landing on a 13 year old Korean girl's shirt. Many apologies were made to all around us- luckily the Korean girl was nice (or she was swearing at me in Korean with a smile on her face).
After this humiliation, it was bathroom time. (Millie Poop-Watch on vacation: 0). I took Ellis into a gross men's bathroom that had a changing table symbol on the outside- only to find that not only did they have no changing table, they didn't have any counters. I briefly considered balancing her on a urinal, but decided against it and changed her outside on my lap in front of people eating lunch. One-armed Jackie took Millie and stood in line for the restroom (where the line was longer than the line to see the baby panda). Of course, once they got inside, Millie pitched a huge tantrum and refused to sit on the potty- and at one point threw herself on the filthy floor and refused to get up. Ellis and I sat outside hearing her screams and nodded in agreement to the elderly gentleman next to us that said, "someone doesn't sound happy."
After that, we realized that we needed to eat. After spending Millie's college education fund on lunch for four at the zoo, we were happier and went to the children's petting area of the zoo. There Millie got to feed a baby goat, stare at a large pig and point at a sheep's private parts. We then decided to end the day with a skyride to the other end of the park- not realizing that the line to take the skyride BACK would again cause skin cancer from standing in the sun.
On the ride back to the hotel, both girls promptly fell asleep- only wake up the moment we stopped the car. Back at the hotel, Millie and I went swimming while Jackie tried to nap (with Ellis being forced to nap).
Being utterly exhausted, we decided we deserved a good meal- I wanted to go to Todai (a yummy all you can eat sushi/seafood restaurant). I had printed the map off of mapquest so off we went- only to get thoroughly lost. After finding the San Diego Costco and several strip malls, Jackie called the restaurant and we were able to find it. Jackie and I gorged on many seafood delights- while Millie mainly ate jello and soup. Ellis drank her bottle and made friends with an elderly gentleman sitting by himself next to us by drooling at him.
After that, it was back to the hotel for our final night in San Diego. Once again, in bed at 8:30pm on the dot (still no poop from Millie).

Road Trip Day #3

SEAWORLD!!

So Ellis woke us all up at 7:30am sharp (the one hour time difference between Utah and California made no difference whatsoever). Our hotel was right across the street from Seaworld and offered a free shuttle. The park opened at 9:00am and we were going to be first to "get our Shamu on."

After packing Ellis's diaper bag, Millie's bag and Mommy's bag, the dreaded moment arrived. I was going to have to do Jackie's hair. Although I suggested a lovely headband or barrettes (Millie was willing to share hers), I was handed a rubber band and (because of the broken elbow) told to put Jackie's hair in a ponytail. Now, the only hair training I've received was how to do pin curls and put a wig on someone. A ponytail would be a piece of cake.

30 minutes later (and with divorce papers nearly signed), I had successfully put a ponytail on Jackie's head. It wouldn't win any awards (and there was a good chance a swift wind would knock it away) but it was there.

Since we didn't want to pay big bucks for breakfast at the park, I left to pick up fast food breakfast somewhere. Another 30 minutes later, I returned- passing the 8:45am shuttle crammed full of people- there would be no way to fit Jackie (and her ponytail), Millie, Ellis, myself, Ellis's diaper bag, Millie's bag, Mommy's bag and our double stroller (plus the joy that was in our hearts) onto this shuttle. The decision was made to walk to the park.

30 minutes later, we found ourselves lost in a strip mall parking lot (granted, the parking lot had boats in it) and I was sunburned. Jackie asked for directions and, 30 minutes later, we were at the park!

The park was pretty empty so we headed over to the Arctic exhibit and watched the penguins and puffins. They had one morning show with Sesame Street characters so we went to that. Millie danced a bit and we had water squirted at us (I felt bad for the actors dressed in 7-foot high costumes that had to pretend to surf...). Millie and I hit the dolphin show (while Mommy enjoyed a $5.00 smoothie that would had fit in Ellis' sippy cup).

After the dolphin show we went to the area where you can pet manta rays- while holding Millie up, her shirt got wet (which caused trauma) and my sunglasses fell into the manta ray pool. While no one was looking (and before a ray could eat them), I snatched them out- causing 15 rays to swarm over the area (probably hungry for the human flesh I was offering).

After enjoying a nice lunch defending our food from swooping seagulls (although Millie was thrilled because her lunch came in a plastic Shamu lunch box), I sucked down my Mountain Dew and Jackie feasted on her Diet Pepsi. We were ready for the Shamu show. (It was at this point we realized that we should put sunscreen on- luckily it was early enough for Millie and Ellis- to late for Mommy and Daddy). We then went to the 4D Elmo show- which was really fun (until Ellis dumped her bottle on my lap. Millie wouldn't wear the 4D glasses, but still seemed to enjoy the Sesame Street show- even though when watching it without glasses, it made your eyes go crossed).

Jackie had come prepared with bubbles to amuse Millie before the shows started (although once Ellis licked the bubble wand, it seemed to lose its potency). Once the show began, the magic of Shamu enchanted us. Jackie was ready to leave our family to pursue a career as a whale trainer and- as one trainer and Shamu did a beautiful twirl in the pool, a single solitary tear slipped down my cheek.

After the Shamu show, we were about done. Millie and Jackie tried the pet show- but Millie was done for the day. We quickly looked at the polar bears and white dolphins/whales and then- because Jackie's elbow was still "slung" and Millie was too short, I decided that I should go on one water ride (the Atlantis ride) before we left. Of course the ride had been running all day, and the moment we got there, there was a technical malfunction and the ride closed.

So, we gathered our stuff and- 30 minutes later (with Jackie and my face as red as lobsters) arrived back at our hotel.

I had read about a great family, fresh seafood place in Mission Bay so we gathered in the van and found it- only to discover it was undergoing renovations. 40 minutes later, the girls fell asleep in the van- so we found a taco shack near the beach, got fresh fish tacos (after the owner made fun of my severely burned face) went home, got in bed and fell asleep at 8:00pm. We were going to be fully rested and recharged for our next day- the zoo!

Road Trip Day #2

Thursday morning, we all awoke, fresh as daisies ready for morning dew.

Oops- that was a lie.

Jackie and I figured the girls had such a bad night that they would be zonked and they would probably sleep in. We were wrong. At 7:30am on the dot, Ellis was squealing with delight from her bed (put in the bathroom the night before). Her squeals awoke Millie- who awakened singing Reflection from Disney's Mulan. I asked how she felt- and as if the last night was a hallucination- she said she was fine.

I was feeling much better so I helped get both girls ready- and all three of us helped Jackie wake up by pouncing on her.

We went down to the breakfast buffet where Millie feasted on fruit and oatmeal (she fed her chocolate waffle to Ellis), Clin feasted on eggs, bacon and pecan pie (I love me a Vegas buffet) and Jackie (with her fractured elbow mind you) had an elderly gentleman take her plate and walk with her from station to station to dish up what she wanted. Ellis primarily shrieked when she was being ignored, drank a bottle, ate Millie's waffle and made a filthy mess below her high chair.

After breakfast, we went back to the room, packed up, called the bellhop for our luggage, and held Millie as she screamed when she slammed her finger in the door.

As soon as we were on the road to San Diego, (Jackie with her Diet Dr. Pepper, Clin with a cranberry juice in hand), the girls (Jackie included) promptly fell asleep- leaving Clin to listen to the one radio station that comes in clearly between Baker and Barstow cities.

After a yummy lunch at In-N-Out, we realized that Millie was constipated. After much bribing and treat offering, Jackie tried to get her to poop in the In-N-Out bathroom, to no avail.

On the road again- no stops till San Diego!

It was pretty non-eventful between Barstow and San Diego (except for nearly rear-ending a cabbage truck).

We arrived at our motel ($12.00 a day for parking? Shame on you Dana Inn). Our room overlooked the pool- which Millie and I promptly jumped in to. Jackie came down and fed Ellis while Millie tried to catch the ducks that got in the pool with us. One sad thing about our hotel- the bathroom was not big enough to put Ellis in a night.

After dinner (where Ellis flirted with nearby tables by throwing Cheerios at them and Millie ate a piece a bread and ignored the rest of her food), we went back to our room and put Ellis to bed. We also put Millie in bed (Poop-Watch 2008- nothing so far...) and as Jackie and I looked at each other with love in our eyes- we realized that we couldn't turn on the tv or any lights to read- so the Eaton's went to bed at 8:00pm that night (Jackie and I didn't even dare breathe because Ellis would hear it...). Our San Diego adventure was officially under way!