Bedtime

I've always been a morning person. From the earliest that I can recall, I am happiest and most productive in the morning hours. Even in college with deadlines looming the following day, I would go to bed around 11:00pm and get up early in the morning to finish. It was not worth it to me to pull an all nighter- and I don't ever think I've stayed up through an entire night (but maybe I was so incoherent I don't recall it).

It probably comes as no surprise that I married a night person. When Jackie and I were first married, I thought she'd be happy with me awaking with the dawn, dancing around the bed and singing a cute made-up ditty like, "Hurry Jackie time to pee, go and make some waffles for me". Only when her glasses case came into hard contact with my genitals did Jackie make her point. Whereas I normally wake up exactly 2 minutes before my alarm goes off, Jackie has several stages of waking.

The first stage is putting her head completely under the pillow. Sometimes I'll get out of the shower and think she's not there because she has completely camoflauged herself into the bedding. The only thing that gives her away is her big toe sticking out of the comforter.

The second stage is throwing our 2-year old daughter, Millie, on her. Reactions vary. (This is a variation on a game I call "Pounce").

The third stage is telling me, "I'M AWAKE" while lying under the covers, eyes closed, accompanied by deep, rythmic breathing.

The fourth stage is opening her eyes and staring at 8-month old Ellis who I have deposited on her head. This stage is usually accompanied by some form of hair loss (thanks to Ellis's firm and hearty grip).

The fifth stage is "the vertical stage". Like a cute newborn colt, just because Jackie is vertical doesn't mean she's found her equalibrium. Keep all obstacles out her path until she is safely sequestered in the shower.

Of course, having children has thrown both of our sleeping schedules off, but more-so Jackie than me. From the time they were really little, we've tried to get both our daughter on a firm sleeping schedule. This was more selfishness on our part than anything else. Luckily, the writer's strike was on when Millie had to be put down to bed over 35 times (no joke). We'd follow Supernanny's advice and each time we find her out of her room, when we put her back, we didn't react (postively or negatively) and we don't talk to her. We just simply pick her up and put her back in her bed. Of course, she then proceeds to stick her finger in my ear and she tries to bite Jackie to get a reaction out of us- but we are not moved (although I did break into stifled laughter when she told me to "go have a bowel movement" the 14th or 15th time back to her room).

So, enjoy your sleep tonight. I will be tucked in bed at 10:00pm sharp, Jackie will be reading until around 11:00pm. Excuse me while I go put our 2-year old back in bed.