Amazon Warrior

So while our home has been invaded by the Northlake 1st Ward Young Women (I allow it because they are making raspberry cheesecake and I am the official sampler...) I decided to clean out my email inbox. Which then lead me to orders I've put in at Amazon.com over the past two months.
Now, I have loved Amazon.com ever since it first came out. Back in 1998 I made my first internet transaction by buying a Dave Matthews Band CD off of Amazon- and I have been true ever since. Here are a few recent transactions I thought people would enjoy:

• 5 pairs of Finger Cymbals (ordered Feb. 2008): Ordered for my upcoming production of The Arabian Nights. While the cymbals are very affordable, thanks to the saavy design of Amazon, I was quickly led further into the world of bellydancing. Do you realize that a complete bellydancing outfit can run you over $300? And that's not including the wrist, ankle, throat and hair baubles.
• Krazy Komedies and Smiles & Spectacles (ordered Feb. 2008): Apparently silent film comedies are made all the more hilarious by mispelling words. Both are DVD's for my Film class (the 1st is Keystone Cops and the 2nd is Harold Lloyd). Millie enjoyed the Harold Lloyd DVD for Family Home Evening (however, even I was confused by the plot which involved a grandmother with supernatural powers).
• 5 tambourines (ordered Nov. 2007): I guess I could form a band of finger cymbals and tambourines. We would be a lame band... but a band nonetheless.
• Stainless Steel Flask (ordered Nov. 2007): For drinking Mountain Dew in Elder's Quorum. Fits nicely in my thigh garter.
• 5" Gong (ordered Nov. 2007): The band just got lamer.
• Butterfly Net (ordered Nov. 2007): Just scanning over all November's orders, you're probably wondering what kind of kinky Thanksgiving celebrations we have at our house.
• 8 Broadway Musical CD's (ordered throughout the year of 2007): A mix of CD's for both home and school.
• Serendipity Frozen Hot Chocolate Mix (Nov. 2006): A sinful elixer that you mix in a blender. I blame this drink for our 2nd child (in conjunction with a trip to Las Vegas and a stressful trip to New York City).
• Film Theory and Criticism (Jan. 2006): A flashback to graduate school at BYU. I only underlined 2 words in the entire book and I can't even remember those. A fun textbook to curl up by the fire with (and tear out random pages to keep the fire going).
• A variety of Lush lip balms (Dec. 2005): All for Jackie's Christmas stocking. Found one of these under Millie's bed the other night.
• Angels on Bare Skin (Mar. 2005): I have no idea what this is, where it is now, who it was for or why it was ordered. It's either a marital aide or something for Millie or Jackie when she was born (Millie... not Jackie).
• Hands on a Hard Body (Apr. 2002): This is actually a documentary about people that try to win a car by seeing who can leave their hand on it the longest- however, when I went to catalogue it with the school library, they changed the title to Survivor. I still wait for some Film Studies student to go home and tell their parents at dinner that they watched Hands on a Hard Body in class. I await the phone call.
• The Dirty Boogie (Sept. 1998): Once again, I have no idea what this is so I'm assuming it was a "honeymoon gift" for a cousin (that I probably read in full before mailing off). I hope it's not under Jackie's side of the bed next to a Lush lip balm.