Saturday, March 29, 2008

Road Trip Day #1

Things I learned on my first road trip with a 10 month old, a 2 year old and a wife with a fractured elbow.
Day 1
Left Lehi around 4:00pm. About 4:25pm, 2 year old (hereafter known as Millie) announces that she wants to get out. Jackie had packed a large bag with toys and activities to play with. She goes through all of them by 4:45pm.
My parents loaned us their minivan- which, while being large and spacious did not come with a CD player- just cassette player. I brought my Ipod- freshly loaded with episodes of Little Einsteins for Millie- but she hates her special headphones. We plugged in the radio adapter and all listened to Little Einsteins until Fillmore. I then realize that I left the charger adapter connected to the computer- we have to make the Ipod last on one full battery. Jackie becomes the Ipod rationer. I also realize that instead of buying the yummy Nestle Flipz Chocolate preztels, I got the gross chocolate flavored yogurt kind. We try to give them to Millie as a "treat"- she will have none of it. Ellis sleeps through most of it.
Fillmore gas station/Arby's tip- I met one former student and one current student here. It must be the hot social gathering place. We also learned the 10 month old (hereafter known as Ellis) likes curly fries. Daddy (me) learned that curly fries and Mountain Dew will make one a touch sick. Also, the hand dryers in the women's bathroom with scare both 10 month and 2 year olds- which will cause a one-armed Mom (Jackie) to drop the 2 year old in the bathroom.
After a quick gas break in St. George (gas for the van and gas from Ellis), it was onward to Las Vegas. We both thought the girls would be sound asleep by now, but oh no. They both received second winds and were happily (Ellis) and unhappily (Millie) unloaded from the van at the Orleans hotel in Las Vegas. I would have happily checked Millie and Ellis with the rest of our luggage with the bellhop, but alas, Jackie said no. Checking in at 10:45pm with 2 overtired children (3 including Jackie) and a sick Clin was eventful. We got into our room, put Ellis in her portable crib where she proceded to scream for 4 hours. Millie developed a ear, foot and bum ache and was hysterically screaming. In the midst of this, I got up, vomited as my loving spouse commented from the other room, "You are NOT allowed to be sick on this trip! Get out here and help Ellis calm down". (I swear somewhere in that sentence she said "dammit" as well, but she'll deny it). After Jackie said, "get the car, we're driving home", (and I was feeling much better), we put Millie in for a hot bath at 2:00am- she calmed down (and hopefully doesn't remember the $150 that was promised to her from me if she would just "close your eyes and your bum will feel better") and we put Ellis's crib in the bathroom, where she fell asleep right away. Millie falls asleep after her bath and as Jackie and I looked lovingly into each other's eyes she says, "Why are we doing this?" I then said goodnight.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Sick!

So, I haven't updated this blog in a bit because: (in chronological order):
Monday, March 3rd: While watching Season 1 Episode 5 of The Wire, I began to cough. Nothing else was wrong, just a cough. I, however, did nothing about it because nothing will distract me from my stories of drug runners in the projects of Baltimore and the police that are after them.
Tuesday, March 4th: Get up and go to school- still coughing. In fact, every time I go to open my mouth to teach, I must cough at least 4 times before I begin my sentence. During 4th period, I begin to shiver. It is all I can do to contain myself from tearing off my clothes and running down the hall (no doubt inspired by the film Michael Clayton which we had watched Sunday night). I drive home feeling sicker and sicker with every tap of my brakes. I arrive home to discover that Jackie is taking her Young Women's roller skating. I throw both girls into the tub, then into bed, after which I promptly throw myself into bed (after taking a healthy dose of NyQuil). I am awakened at 9:30pm by my sobbing wife trying to take off her jacket but finding herself unable to bend her right arm. I mumble something about unicorns and dancing hippos (I get funny on NyQuil) and try to help her off with her jacket. She tells me she fell down while roller skating and dancing the macarena (I only remember part of this conversation). I tell her to go to the emergency room and she says, "No, I'll just take an Extra-Strength Tylenol" instead. She wakes up 4 hours later in intense pain, I am in no state to drive (and knowing the effects of NyQuil, was probably nude) so she drives herself to the American Fork Emergency room. I go back to sleep. 2 hours later, she arrives home with a fractured elbow. Because this is a family blog, I will not reprint the oaths uttered at the hour of the night.
Wed. March 5th: I stay home from school to help lift our 9 month old in and out of the crib. Other than that, I am useless and feel like I want to die from the flu. I still have to go in to rehearse The Arabian Nights.
Thurs. March 6th: I go into work and Jackie finds that she can tip Ellis's crib over and Ellis can crawl out of the crib by herself. Jackie's Mom and Dad both arrive into town for a wedding- and enter a house of coughing, fractured elbows and myself full of life on codeine cough syrup (again, no clothes necessary).
Skip the weekend (I got someone to conduct the music, teach Elder's Quorum and Jackie and I- both under the effects of heavy medication- sleep the Sabbath away). We are only vaguely aware that we have children and hope Grandma and Grandpa are keeping up.
Mon. March 7th: I start to feel somewhat better. I go into school, have a final dress rehearsal for Arabian Nights. It's looking good and its under time.
Tues. March 8th: The Arabian Nights takes 1st place at Region. After the festival, i go home and collapse- this time with a sore chest.
Wed. March 9th: I go into work- probably should not have seeing how I spent most of the day curled up on the floor of the men's bathroom praying for death to arrive (and hoping the principal wouldn't walk in with a tour. That happened my first year teaching- only I was sitting on the toilet with the door open. It was very graceful how I managed to stand up, put my pants on and address the guest all at the same time).
Jackie's mom is still with us. Both our children begin to call her both Mom and Dad.
Jackie's mom celebrates her birthday today by taking me to Insta-Care where I discover I have pneumonia on the right side of my body. More pills are dispensed and I crave grape juice and nothing else- Jackie's mom celebrates her birthday by buying me my pills and my grape juice.
Anyway, to make a long story short, Jackie's elbow is still broken, I'm feeling slightly better and we are leaving today to spend Spring Break in San Diego- so that will be the next blog I post. Happy Easter!